Subject: [BEHAVE] draft-ietf-behave-v6v4-xlate-stateful

From: Ed Jankiewicz <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:56:36 -0500

Late for the WGLC2 but still wanted to support this draft moving to 
IESG, with just a couple typos/corrections.  It looks complete and 
well-structured - seems you could code up a NAT64 with just this spec 
and a couple pots of strong coffee.

1.1 delete space before period after "(such as ICE)."

3.2 "STE Lifetime" could be defined in the terminology section before 
its first use (twice) in this section.  Also, throughout the doc the 
abbreviation "STE Lifetime" is never used again - it is typically 
"session lifetime" or "timer in the Session Table Entry" this could be 
more consistent, but not a big deal, it usually makes sense in context.

3.5.1 - Lifetime: a timer that tracks the remaining lifetime of the TCP 
- should be UDP.

3.5.3 - first 3 bullets STE setting - delete "the" before X', Y' and I1

3.5.4 - means usually plural "or other automatic means not specified"

3.6 - add comma "either the TCP BIB, the UDP BIB or the ICMP Query BIB..."

5.2 - are the statements here supposed to be normative, e.g. A NAT64 
must offer "Endpoint-Independent Filtering" ?  if so, capitalize MUST.  
Similarly - Implementations may also provide support for 
"Address-Dependent Mapping" could be MAY.

5.3 - the statement - "It is then important to properly set which is the 
external side of the NAT64"...seems important enough to be a MUST - as 
the proper function of the NAT64 in Scenario 1 versus Scenario 3 is 
probably dependent on knowing which side is "the Internet".  Also, 
terminology should be consistent with the Framework, "external" is not 
accurate if what is meant is "the Internet" versus local network.

-- 
Ed Jankiewicz - SRI International
Fort Monmouth Branch Office - IPv6 Research 
Supporting DISA Standards Engineering Branch
732-389-1003 or  [email-masked]

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From: marcelo bagnulo braun <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 29 Mar 2010 10:26:59 +0200

Hi Ed,

thanks for the review
replies below...

> 1.1 delete space before period after "(such as ICE)."

i have removed that part already
> its first use (twice) in this section.

the STE acronym is defined after it first use in the document. I don't 
feel that this should be defined int he termonology section, but right 
after it is used.

>   Also, throughout the doc the abbreviation "STE Lifetime" is never 
> used again - it is typically "session lifetime" or "timer in the 
> Session Table Entry" this could be more consistent, but not a big 
> deal, it usually makes sense in context.
>
> 3.5.1 - Lifetime: a timer that tracks the remaining lifetime of the 
> TCP - should be UDP.
>
fixed

> 3.5.3 - first 3 bullets STE setting - delete "the" before X', Y' and I1
fixed

> 3.5.4 - means usually plural "or other automatic means not specified"
fixed

> 3.6 - add comma "either the TCP BIB, the UDP BIB or the ICMP Query 
fixed
> must offer "Endpoint-Independent Filtering" ?  if so, capitalize 
> MUST.  Similarly - Implementations may also provide support for 
fixed

> 5.3 - the statement - "It is then important to properly set which is 
> the external side of the NAT64"...seems important enough to be a MUST 
> - as the proper function of the NAT64 in Scenario 1 versus Scenario 3 
> is probably dependent on knowing which side is "the Internet".
but i am not sure how to include a must here, since it is not something 
the box can implement, but related to the the topology where the box is 
deployed.

>   Also, terminology should be consistent with the Framework, 
> "external" is not accurate if what is meant is "the Internet" versus 
> local network.
>
>

fixed that

Regards, marcelo