Subject: Re: [Detnet] Barry Leiba's No Objection on charter-ietf-detnet-00-00: (with COMMENT)

From: "BRUNGARD, DEBORAH A" <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 2 Sep 2015 21:03:44 +0000

Hi Barry,

Thanks - we've updated on the wiki:
http://trac.tools.ietf.org/bof/trac/wiki/DetNetDraftCharter

Deborah

-----Original Message-----
From: iesg [mailto:[email-masked]] On Behalf Of Barry Leiba
Sent: Monday, August 31, 2015 11:33 PM
To: The IESG
Cc: [email-masked]
Subject: Barry Leiba's No Objection on charter-ietf-detnet-00-00: (with COMMENT)

Barry Leiba has entered the following ballot position for
charter-ietf-detnet-00-00: No Objection

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The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/charter-ietf-detnet/

----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

A fine charter.  I have only one editorial comment.
I find the end of the first sentence hard to read, which gets things off
to a confusing start:

     The Deterministic Networking (DetNet) Working Group will focus
     on deterministic data paths that operate over Layer 2 Bridged and
     Layer 3 routed segments, where such paths can provide bounded
     latency, loss and packet delay variation (jitter).

It's not immediately clear whether "bounded" applies only to latency or
to the whole list, and the missing serial comma muddies things more.  One
can certainly figure it out well enough, but we shouldn't make readers
work that hard.  I suggest this:

NEW
     The Deterministic Networking (DetNet) Working Group will focus
     on deterministic data paths that operate over Layer 2 bridged and
     Layer 3 routed segments, where such paths can provide bounds on
     latency, loss, and packet delay variation (jitter).
END

---

From: "Barry Leiba" <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 2015 20:32:48 -0700

NEW