Subject: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-dmarc-interoperability-15

From: "Peter Yee" <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 3 Jun 2016 23:48:51 -0700

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft.  The General Area Review
Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for
the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last call
comment.  For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>

Document: draft-ietf-dmarc-interoperability-15
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: June 3, 2016
IETF LC End Date: June 3, 2016
IESG Telechat date: June 16, 2016

Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication as an Informational
RFC, but has some nits that should be fixed before publication. [Ready with
nits]

This draft catalogs many of the interoperability issues that DMARC-using
systems may encounter when processing indirect email flows.  It suggests a
variety of remedies for these issues, while acknowledging that these
solutions may not be universally usable or that they may introduce other
issues.

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits:

Page 3, Section 1, 1st paragraph, last sentence: append a comma after
"transformation".

Page 3, Section 1, 2nd paragraph: change the first "RFC7489" to "RFC 7489".

Page 4, Section 1.1, 2nd paragraph: replace "secton" with "section".

Page 4, Section 2, 1st paragraph: change "DMARC based" to "DMARC-based".

Page 6, 2nd full paragraph: delete the commas in "if, and only if,".

Page 7, 1st bullet item, 1st sentence: insert "a" before "different".
Change "orignal" to "original".

Page 7, Section 2.3, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "accomodate" to
"accommodate".

Page 9, Section 3.1.2.1, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: change "semiotically
equivalent" to "semiotically-equivalent".

Page 11, Section 3.2.1, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: append a comma after
"e.g.".

Page 11, Section 3.2.1, 3rd bullet item: change "activity based" to
"activity-base".  Change "role based" to "role-based".  Change "long term"
to "long-term".

Page 13, Section 3.2.4, 3rd paragraph: swap the order of "share" and "also".

Page 14, 5th bullet item, last sentence: append a comma after "DKIM".

Page 14, section 4: I suspect you want "processes" instead of "processors".

Page 15, 3rd full paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "counter productive" to
"counterproductive" and drop the comma following the word).

Page 16, Section 4.1.1.1, 3rd bullet item: change "DKIM sign" to
"DKIM-sign".  Insert "a" before "DKIM-based".

Page 16, Section 4.1.1.1, 5th bullet item, 2nd sentence: change the "a"
before "RFC5322.Reply-to" to "an".

Page 16, Section 4.1.1.1, 6th bullet: append a comma after "functionality".
Change "well formed" to "well-formed".

Page 17, Section 4.1.3, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: change "fields name" to
"field names".

Page 19, 2nd bullet item, 3rd sentence: delete the comma.

Page 20, 1st bullet item: change "Third party" to "Third-party".

Page 21, 1st full paragraph: change "vis a vis" to "vis-à-vis".  Skip the
accent over the 'a' if it is a problem.  Change "third party" to
"third-party".

Page 21, Section 7: delete the extra spaces in Turnbull and Sonneveld's
names.  (Double space after each initial.)  Append a comma after "Draegen".

---

From: Kurt Andersen <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 8 Jun 2016 06:38:34 -0700

On Fri, Jun 3, 2016 at 11:48 PM, Peter Yee <[email-masked]> wrote:

> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft.  .  .
>
> RFC, but has some nits that should be fixed . . .
>

I've just posted version 16 which incorporates all but a few of the fixes
(exceptions noted below) identified by Peter as well as the issue of the IP
addresses in the appendix which had been noted earlier (aligning them with
RFC 6890).

The one change that I did not incorporate was to hyphenate "long term". In
the situation where those words were used, I did not consider it to be a
singular term (Section 3.2.1, 3rd bullet).

Also, I could not figure out a way to finesse xml2rfc to accept an accented à
so I had to go with the plain 'a'.

The last point had to do with the double spaces in the text version of
several of the contributors names with a middle initial and a period after
the single initial. The second space is being inserted by xml2rfc, it is
not in the original XML. I suppose it can be solved during final edit by
removing the period after the initial.

--Kurt

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From: Jari Arkko <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 16 Jun 2016 10:11:39 +0300

Peter, Kurt — many thanks for the review and for the edits.

Jari