Subject: Genart last call review of draft-wilde-service-link-rel-06

From: Peter Yee <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 20 Nov 2018 08:21:54 -0800

Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review result: Almost Ready

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-wilde-service-link-rel-06
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: 2018-11-20
IETF LC End Date: 2018-11-20
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary:  Almost ready.  The document registers (under the RFC 8288 registry)
link relation types for service document, service description, service
metadata, and service status.  It's missing a key section.

Major issues: None.

Minor issues:

Page 8, Section 7: RFC 2223 requires you do more than provide an ellipsis here.
 You might want to consider what makes sense.  Perhaps a discussion of what
happens to a client that obtains a maliciously formatted service-desc or even
an errant service-desc.  While a human might be able to see through problems in
a "service-doc", it's quite possible that a machine will want to take
precautions about handling the received data and acting upon it.

Nits/editorial comments:

Page 1, Note to Readers: Presumably this section will be removed prior to
publication.

Page 3, 4th full paragraph, 1st sentence: Delete the comma after "consumption"
and delete the "for" following that.

Page 5, Section 3.3, 1st paragraph, 1st section: change "of" to "between".  Put
the section references in parentheses.

Page 5, Section 3.3, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: insert "a" before "better".

---

From: Erik Wilde <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 20 Nov 2018 22:06:09 +0100

hello.

thanks, peter, for your review!

> precautions about handling the received data and acting upon it.

thanks for the suggestion! 
https://github.com/dret/I-D/commit/3f065e662ccd66419c92246a2bba9bd8c5127ade 
adds security considerations.

> Page 1, Note to Readers: Presumably this section will be removed prior to

done in 
https://github.com/dret/I-D/commit/f5e8c10f4a9400d55a867d64b8aef9846ae4106b

> Page 5, Section 3.3, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: insert "a" before "better".

addressed in 
https://github.com/dret/I-D/commit/cc902371fff59b96d3185e643522fe8f1462d042

i think with these changes in the draft i have addressed the comments in 
this review. i have posted a new version of the draft that includes the 
changes mentioned here.

https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-wilde-service-link-rel-07

thanks again and kind regards,

dret.

-- 
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