Subject: Incoming - Definitions and Clarity

From: Ray Pelletier <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 26 Jul 2007 12:41:51 -0400

Upon a review of the incoming-01 draft I had a number of suggestions:

1. Sec 1(a) - Add "IETF BOFs" to the list of IETF sessions where a 
statement made is a contribution

2. Sec 1 Add new k  a definition of "RFC Editor Documents" as follows:

k. "RFC Editor Documents" documents that are referred to as 
Internet-Drafts and RFCs may be submitted to and published by the RFC 
Editor independently of the IETF Standards Process. (See Section 4)

3. Add Sections 5.3 and 5.4 references to Section 3.1 as follows:

It is important to note that under this document (Section 5.3) 
Contributors are required to grant certain rights to the IETF Trust, 
which holds all IETF-related intellectual property on behalf of the IETF 
community.
The IETF Trust will, in turn, grant a sublicense of these rights to all 
IETF participants for use in the IETF Standards Process. (See Section 5.4)

4. Reorder Section 3.2 for clarity as follows:

3.2. Rights to use Contributions

It is important that the IETF receive assurances from all Contributors 
that they have the authority to grant the IETF the rights that they 
claim to grant because, under the laws of most countries and applicable 
international treaties, copyright rights come into existence when a work 
of authorship is created (but see Section 3.5 below regarding public 
domain documents), and the IETF cannot make use of IETF Contributions if 
it does not have sufficient rights with respect to these copyright 
rights. The IETF and its participants would run a greater risk of 
liability to the owners of these rights without this assurance.  To this 
end, IETF asks Contributors to give the assurances in Section5.6 below. 
These assurances are requested, however, only to the extent of the   
Contributor's reasonable and personal knowledge. (See Section 1(l))

5. Reorder and trim Section 3.3 paragraph 1 for clarity, and delete the 
last sentence of paragraph 4, which is incorporated in 1, as follows:

3.3. Right to Produce Derivative Works

The IETF needs to be able to iterate, further develop and disseminate 
internationally IETF Documents, and must also be able to permit others 
to develop derivative works based on Contributions.  The right to 
produce translations is required before any Contribution can be 
published as an RFC to ensure the widest possible distribution of the 
material in RFCs.  In order to do this the IETF must obtain the right 
from Contributors to produce derivative works.  The right to produce 
derivative works is required for all IETF standards track documents and 
for most IETF non-standards track documents. There are two exceptions to 
this requirement: documents describing proprietary technologies and 
documents that are republications of the work of other standards 
organizations.

6.  Modify Section 5.1 as follows:

By submission of a Contribution, each person
/person/contributor

7. Reorder Section 5.3 (C) for clarity and section consistency as follows:

(C) to modify or prepare derivative works that are based on or 
incorporate all or part of the Contribution, and to copy, publish, 
display, and distribute such derivative works (in addition to 
translations) , or portions thereof, unless explicitly disallowed in the 
notices contained in a Contribution [in the form specified by the Legend 
Instructions], and

Ray Pelletier

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