Subject: [rmcat] Roman Danyliw's No Objection on draft-ietf-rmcat-nada-12: (with COMMENT)

From: Roman Danyliw via Datatracker <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 04 Sep 2019 11:03:19 -0700

Roman Danyliw has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-rmcat-nada-12: No Objection

When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all
email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this
introductory paragraph, however.)

Please refer to https://www.ietf.org/iesg/statement/discuss-criteria.html
for more information about IESG DISCUSS and COMMENT positions.

The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-rmcat-nada/

----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

(1) Section 4.  Per “In the experimental phase of this draft …”, what
experiment is being proposed and what is the exit criteria for it?  Is this a
reference to Section 8?  If so, perhaps, drop the introductory clause:

OLD:
In the experimental phase of this draft, additional studies in real-world
settings will gather further learnings on how to choose and adapt these
parameter values in practical deployment.

NEW:
Additional studies in real-world settings suggested in Section 8 could gather
further insight on how to choose and adapt these parameter values in practical
deployment.

(2) Editorial Nits:
Section 1.  Typo. s/descirbed/described/

Section 3.  Typo. s/abrevity/brevity/

Section 3.  Editorial.  s/into compressed bitstream/ into a compressed
bitstream/

Section 4.  Typo. s/mutliplier/multiplier/

Section 4.1.  Editorial?  For the MULTILOSS variable, the default value is
listed as “7.”, it seems like it should read 7 (no period), but maybe there is
a missing decimal portion?

Section 4.2.  Typo.  s/milliseonds/milliseconds/

Section 4.3. Typo.  s/stablizes/stabilizes/

Section 4.3.  Typo.  s/absense/absence/

Section 5.1.3.  Typo.  s/straighforward/ straightforward/

Section 6.3. s/enviornments/environments/

Section 6.3. s/futher/further/

Section 7.  Typo. s/descirbed/described/

Section 7.  Typo. s/implemention/implementation/

Section 7.  Typo.  s/wirelss/wireless/

Section 8. Typo. s/adapte/adapt/

Section 8.  Typo. s/preferrably/preferably/

Section 8.  Typo. s/set up/setup/

---

From: "Xiaoqing Zhu (xiaoqzhu)" <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 6 Sep 2019 16:27:57 +0000

Many thanks, Roman, for providing your review comments and corresponding editorial suggestions. 

The revised draft has incorporated all these edits: https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-rmcat-nada-13

Aside from the typo/grammar fixes, the updated sentence in Section 4.1 now read:

	... Additional studies in real-world settings suggested in Section 8 could
	gather further insight on how to choose and adapt these parameter values
	in practical deployment. 

Best regards,
Xiaoqing

On 9/4/19, 1:03 PM, "Roman Danyliw via Datatracker" <[email-masked]> wrote:

    

    OLD:
    
    NEW:
    
    (2) Editorial Nits: