Subject: Re: [Simple] I-D ACTION:draft-ietf-simple-message-sessions-14.txt

From: Hans Persson <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 02 Mar 2006 16:04:50 +0100

mån 2006-02-27 klockan 18:50 -0500 skrev [email-masked]:

> 	Title		: The Message Session Relay Protocol
> 	Author(s)	: B. Campbell, et al.
> 	Filename	: draft-ietf-simple-message-sessions-14.txt

Questions:

Section 4, SIP example: The Request-URIs in the INVITE and ACK messages
are [email-masked] while the To headers are
[email-masked]. Why are they not the same?

Section 11.6, last paragraph on page 42: I don't understand the sentence
"The client automatically sends the message over MSRPS to the two MSRP
URIs involved." Where did MSRPS come from? Why not MSRP?

Editorial consistency points:

In some places the draft writes '"msrps" scheme', in others 'msrps:
scheme' (with colon, without quotes), in yet others 'MSRPS schema'. 

RFC references are sometimes written with capitals and sometimes
without. Between "RFC" and the RFC number is sometimes a space,
sometimes nothing, and sometimes "-".

References to documents sometimes lack the space between the text and
the bracketed reference number.

Other editorial nits:

Page 4, second last paragraph: Change "map this to a particular protocol
to establish the session such as SIP." to "map this to a particular
protocol, such as SIP, to establish the session." for better
readability.

Section 5.1, first paragraph: "boundary based" -> "boundary-based".

Page 13, third paragraph: Spurious space in "re-INVITE ."

Section 6, first line: "schema" -> "schemas".
sixth paragraph: insert "that" after "indicates".
seventh paragraph: "IANA registered" -> "IANA-registered".

Page 17, second non-indented paragraph: insert "the" after "If".
last paragraph: "MIME specific" -> "MIME-specific".

Page 18, second last paragraph: "success Report" -> "success report".

Section 7.1.1, last paragraph (page 20): insert "a" after "wants".

Section 7.1.3, second paragraph: "implementation defined" ->
"implementation-defined".

Page 24, first non-indented paragraph: insert "that" after "assume".

Section 7.3.2, last paragraph: "responses" -> "response".

Section 8.1, last non-indented paragraph: " MUST," -> ", MUST".

Section 10.2: insert "that" after "indicates".

Section 10.3: ditto.

Section 11.5: insert "http://" before "www".

Section 11.6, second paragraph: "session mode" -> "session-mode".

Section 13, last paragraph, first line: "are" -> "is".

Section 14.3, first paragraph: "self signed" -> "self-signed".

Page 49, first paragraph: "peer to peer" -> "peer-to-peer".
third paragraph: "sip" -> "SIP", "identity header" -> "Identity
header" (thrice).

Section 14.4, first paragraph: "resource" -> "resources".

Hans

-- 
Hans Persson <[email-masked]>    Ingate - Firewalls with SIP & NAT
Ingate Systems AB  +46 13 210877   http://www.ingate.com/

Private: <[email-masked]>  http://www.lysator.liu.se/~unicorn/

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