Subject: [trill] Mail Shepherd's comments on draft-ietf-trill-oam-fm-03.txt

From: "Susan Hares" <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 27 May 2014 15:50:17 -0400

Authors and working group:

I respectfully submit the following shepherd's review below on the document
quality.  I found no technical issues with the draft, but I would suggest
the editorial changes below (required and suggested).  The full shepherd's
report can be access via the draft's web page on the data tracker at:
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-trill-oam-fm/

Please let me know if there are questions.  I want to thank Donald Eastlake
for his early review of my comments.  

Sue Hares 

-------------

Document Quality

The TRILL OAM FM has implementations begun in the Cisco, Huawei, and other

router companies (2-3).  The co-authors on this draft are in touch with

the implementation teams at Cisco and Huawei, and in-touch with the 802.1
Task

group within the IEEE.  

The document's text and logic is excellent.  Even with the  ~60 page length,

the shepherd found very few editorial issues. A  few minor nits listed
below, 

the authors will address promptly. 

(3) Briefly describe the review of this document that was performed by

the Document Shepherd.  If this version of the document is not ready

for publication, please explain why the document is being forwarded to

the IESG.

Editorial issues: Fix regerences: 

ISIS - mentioned (line 1483, 2203) - change to [IS-IS] and adjust. 

Outdated references: RFC7172

draft-ietf-trill-fine-labeling has been published as

     RFC 7172

draft-ietf-trill-clear-correct has been published as

     RFC 7180

draft-ietf-trill-oam-framework has been published as

     RFC 7174

Outdated reference: draft-ietf-trill-rbridge-extension has been

     published as RFC 7179

Section 15.4 - requests return code for PTR request messages.

It is unclear which registry this section applies to. Please fix. 

Shepherd's Editorial suggestions [This will be deleted after revision] 

------------------- 

section 2.0

add references to: 

LBR - Loop Back Reply Message 

MTVM - Multi-destination Tree Verification Message 

MTVR - Multi-destination Tree Verification Reply Message 

PT - Path Trace

PTR - Path Trace Message Reply Messaage

4.2.1 section page 11

change /or derive them from port defaults or the like/ 

    to /or derive them from port defaults or other defaults/

4.3.1 p. 12

change /<- This is the TRILL ingress function/ 

       to /This is the TRILL ingress function./

4.3.2 p. 12 

 Change /<- This is the TRILL egress funciton/ 

  to    / This is the TRILL Egress Function./

4.3.3 p. 13

  Change / If the EtherType is TRILL but the multicast DA is not

           ALL-RBridge or if the EhterType is L2-IS-IS but the multicast Da/

      to / If the Ethertype is TRILL but the mutlicast DA is not

           ALL-Rbridge; or if the Ethertype is L2-IS-ISIS but the multicast
DA/

6.0  p. 19 

  Change / NOTE: LBM, MTV, PT are not subject to MA de-multipliexers./

      to / Note: LBM, MTV*, PT* are not subject to MA de-multiplixers./

6.1 p. 21 

      change in figure /PT    MTV/ to /PT*  MTV*/ 

7. p. 22 - section 12. is odd in the text. Either use 12.0 or section 12

   Change / section 12. below for the theory/ to /change 12 below for the
theory/ 

9.2.1 p. 37 

   change /Assign/Assigns/ 

11.2.1 p. 42

  para 3 change /the originating RBridge/ 

             to /the originating RBridges does the following/

  indent para 4-10 

  para 4 change /obtain/obtains/ 

  para 5 change /construct/constructs/ 

  para 6 change /TRILL OAM Application Identifier TLV MUST BE INCLUDED/

        to /INCLUDES the TRILL OAM Application Identifier TLV which MUST BE

            INCLUDED/

para 7 change /Op-code MUST/ to /incorporates Op-Code which MUST/

para 8 change /Include/Includes/

para 10 change /user./to /user; and/ 

12.  

  para 1: change /Section 7./ to /Section 7/ 

16.2 [RFCclcorrect] to RFC7180

     [TRILLEXT] to RFC7179

---

From: "Tissa Senevirathne (tsenevir)" <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 27 May 2014 19:59:02 +0000

Thanks Sue, will include the comments suggested.

From: trill [mailto:[email-masked]] On Behalf Of Susan Hares
Sent: Tuesday, May 27, 2014 12:50 PM
To: [email-masked]; [email-masked]
Cc: 'Donald Eastlake'
Subject: [trill] Mail Shepherd's comments on draft-ietf-trill-oam-fm-03.txt

I respectfully submit the following shepherd's review below on the document quality.  I found no technical issues with the draft, but I would suggest the editorial changes below (required and suggested).  The full shepherd's report can be access via the draft's web page on the data tracker at:  https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-trill-oam-fm/

Please let me know if there are questions.  I want to thank Donald Eastlake for his early review of my comments.

Sue Hares

-------------

Document Quality

The TRILL OAM FM has implementations begun in the Cisco, Huawei, and other
router companies (2-3).  The co-authors on this draft are in touch with
the implementation teams at Cisco and Huawei, and in-touch with the 802.1 Task
group within the IEEE.

The document's text and logic is excellent.  Even with the  ~60 page length,
the shepherd found very few editorial issues. A  few minor nits listed below,
the authors will address promptly.

4.2.1 section page 11

4.3.1 p. 12

4.3.2 p. 12

4.3.3 p. 13
  Change / If the EtherType is TRILL but the multicast DA is not
           ALL-RBridge or if the EhterType is L2-IS-IS but the multicast Da/
      to / If the Ethertype is TRILL but the mutlicast DA is not
           ALL-Rbridge; or if the Ethertype is L2-IS-ISIS but the multicast DA/

6.0  p. 19

6.1 p. 21

   Change / section 12. below for the theory/ to /change 12 below for the theory/

9.2.1 p. 37
   change /Assign/Assigns/

11.2.1 p. 42

  indent para 4-10

12.