Subject: [6lo] Fwd: Review for draft-ietf-6lo-ap-nd-02

From: Charlie Perkins <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 10 Aug 2017 10:23:56 -0700

Hello folks,

I have reviewed the document draft-ietf-6lo-ap-nd-02.txt.

Most of my comments are editorial and can best be seen by looking at the 
attached files.

A few notes drawn from the details in the files:

  * - The document should be reorganized a bit so that the applicability
    discussion and requirements for implementation are all discussed in
    the initial sections of the document
  * - It would be nice to include definitions for important terms, and
    cite the earlier documents in which they are defined.
  * - An IANA registry is required for Crypto Type, along with the
    attendant rules for defining new values
  * - Section 4.1. "New Crypto-ID", second paragraph, is not very clear
    and should be expanded enough to be unambiguous and clear.  For
    instance, it seems to me that the word "modifier" means different
    things at different points in the text, but I could not be sure.
  * - Section 5.3. "Multihop Operation" needs a good bit of work. Some
    of the protocol description could be made much clearer by including
    a signaling diagram (e.g., ladder diagram)
  * - The Security Considerations is rambling and contains various
    things that don't belong (see detailed comments).

Regards,
Charlie P.