Subject: Gen-ART LC/Telechat review of draft-ietf-pce-iro-update-06

From: Peter Yee <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 17 Apr 2016 13:10:17 -0700

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review
Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for
the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or
AD before posting a new version of the draft.

For more information, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-pce-iro-update-06
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: Apr-17-2016
IETF LC End Date: Mar-29-2016
IESG Telechat date: Apr-21-2016

Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication as a Standards
Track RFC, but has some nits that should be fixed before publication.
[Ready with nits]

This specification documents the results of a survey regarding
implementation of the Include Route Object for PCEP and uses those results
to clarify the meaning of section 7.12 of RFC 5440 with updated text.

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None really

Page 5, Section 4, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: Are you sure that
confusing interpretation of the IRO ordering or the L bit doesn’t cause
any security issues?  I’m not PCEP savvy enough to know if mistakenly
sending information that should have gone strictly through a loose node
would disclose anything that the originator didn’t really wish any nodes
outside of the strict list to see.

Nits:

Page 3, first full paragraph: insert “an” before “IRO”.

Page 3, Section 2 title: insert “the” before “IRO”.

Page 3, Section 2, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: insert “them” before the
second “as”.

Page 4, Section 2, 1st paragraph: append a colon to the end of the
paragraph.

Page 4, Section 2, indented bullet item: remove the hyphen and put the
remainder between double quotes, not single quotes.

Page 4, Section 2, 1st major bullet item, 1st sentence: insert “an” before
“IRO”.  

Page 4, Section 2, 1st major bullet item, 2nd sentence: change
“comprising” to “comprised”.  Insert “to” before “section”.

Page 4, Section 2, 2nd major bullet item, 1st sentence: insert “an” before
“IRO”.  Change the comma to a semicolon.

Page 4, Section 2, 2nd major bullet item, 3rd sentence: insert “the”
before “Loose”.

Page 4, Section 3, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: delete comma.

Page 4, Section 3, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change trailing space and
hyphen to a colon.

Page 4, Section 3, 1st bullet item: delete comma after “IRO”.  Insert
“the” before the last “IRO”.

Page 5, Section 3, 1st paragraph: insert “the” before “IRO”.

Page 5, Section 4, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: insert “the” before “IRO”.

---

From: Dhruv Dhody <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 18 Apr 2016 23:24:25 +0530

Hi Peter,

Thanks for the diligent review! See Inline...

> outside of the strict list to see.
​[Dhruv]: My first instinct is to say that this isn't an issue, as PCEP
speaker are expected to know about the nodes (via TED) irrespective of
strict and loose interpretation of that node. I will discuss this again
with the our shepherd.
​

> ​[Dhruv]: Thanks! Will Update!

Regards,
Dhruv​

---

From: Jari Arkko <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2016 07:10:28 +0200

Thanks again for your careful review, Peter!

And thank you Dhruv for looking into the one question.

Jari