Subject: Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-trill-over-ip-15

From: Matthew Miller <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 07 Mar 2018 22:59:36 -0800

Reviewer: Matthew Miller
Review result: Ready with Nits

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-trill-over-ip-15
Reviewer: Matthew A. Miller
Review Date: 2018-03-07
IETF LC End Date: 2018-03-06
IESG Telechat date: 2018-03-08

Summary:  Ready with nits

Major issues: NONE

Minor issues: NONE

Nits/editorial comments:

* In Section 4.5. "TRILL Over IP Transport IS-IS SubNetwork Point
of Attachment", the word "of" between ""

"""
The Hellos transmitted out [of] a port indicate what neighbor ports
that port can see on the link by listing what IS-IS refers to as the
neighbor port's SubNetwork Point of Attachment (SNPA)
"""

* In Section 5.2. "Encapsulation Agreement", the first sentence is
difficult to understand; I think it is missing the word "on" between
"sent out" and "a TRILL over IP":

"""
TRILL Hellos sent out [on] a TRILL over IP transport port indicate the
encapsulations for which that port is offering full support through a
mechanism initially specified in [RFC7178] and [RFC7176] that is
hereby extended.
"""

* In Section 5.4. "Native Encapsulation", the word "he" should be
"the" in the sentence "Where he UDP Header is as follows".

* In Section 5.6.1. "TCP Connection Establishment", the word
"connections" should be singular (or the leading "a" dropped) in the
fragment "try to establish a TCP connections to each of them".

* In Section 5.6.1. "TCP Connection Establishment", the occurrence of
"P!" should be changed to "P1".

---

From: Donald Eastlake <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 8 Mar 2018 19:31:44 -0500

Hi Matthew,

> IESG Telechat date: 2018-03-08

I find the way you have formatted your comments to be confusing. I
think there should be a clear demarkation where all the material
related to a comment ends and that for the next comment begins. You
seem to use the same unusual triple double quotation mark delimiter
between your comment and your marked up text from the draft related to
that comment.

> mechanism initially specified in [RFC7178] and [RFC7176] that is

I do not think the insertions you recommend are necessary but I'm
willing to make them.

> "the" in the sentence "Where he UDP Header is as follows".

OK

> fragment "try to establish a TCP connections to each of them".

Changing "connections" to "connection" seems best.

> "P!" should be changed to "P1".

OK.

Thanks,
Donald
===============================
 Donald E. Eastlake 3rd   +1-508-333-2270 (cell)
 155 Beaver Street, Milford, MA 01757 USA
 [email-masked]