Subject: [imss] FW: MIB Doctor review draft-ietf-imss-fc-fam-mib-01.txt

From: "Wijnen, Bert (Bert)" <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 6 Oct 2005 18:02:18 +0200

WG, 
here is the MIB doctor review.

Thanks to Orly for her review!

Pls copy her if you want her to see comments/questions/answers
because she is not subscribed to your mailing list.

W.r.t. to the comment on th eexpired draft: it has been (or
will be soon) resurrected by the secretariat!

Bert

-----Original Message-----
From: Orly Nicklass [mailto:[email-masked]]
Sent: Thursday, October 06, 2005 13:52
To: Wijnen, Bert (Bert); [email-masked]
Cc: [email-masked]; [email-masked]
Subject: RE: MIB Doctor review draft-ietf-imss-fc-fam-mib-01.txt

Hi,

The draft has expired, and has been deleted from the Internet-Drafts
directory. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are 9  issues I found as potential items for fix:

1.)Format---line(738) is too long

2)  Conformance with RFC 3978/3979 boilerplate---
      -Seems as if an old copy of those is  being used in the  "Status
of this Memo".

Should be as follows:

Status of this Memo

   By submitting this Internet-Draft, each author represents that any
   applicable patent or other IPR claims of which he or she is aware
   have been or will be disclosed, and any of which he or she becomes
   aware will be disclosed, in accordance with Section 6 of BCP 79.

   Internet-Drafts are working documents of the Internet Engineering
   Task Force (IETF), its areas, and its working groups.  Note that
   other groups may also distribute working documents as Internet-
   Drafts.

   Internet-Drafts are draft documents valid for a maximum of six months
   and may be updated, replaced, or obsoleted by other documents at any
   time.  It is inappropriate to use Internet-Drafts as reference
   material or to cite them other than as "work in progress."

   The list of current Internet-Drafts can be accessed at
   http://www.ietf.org/ietf/1id-abstracts.txt.

   The list of Internet-Draft Shadow Directories can be accessed at
   http://www.ietf.org/shadow.html.

   This Internet-Draft will expire on January 13, 2006.

Copyright Notice

   Copyright (C) The Internet Society (2005).

3)      IPR related ---
        -Disclaimer of validity (15),  copyright statements (14) and IPR
(7) are marked with numbers and 
          listed in mixed order. 
        - section 7 is redundant to 15 and seems as older version
Should be as follows:

Intellectual Property Statement

   The IETF takes no position regarding the validity or scope of any
   Intellectual Property Rights or other rights that might be claimed to
   pertain to the implementation or use of the technology described in
   this document or the extent to which any license under such rights
   might or might not be available; nor does it represent that it has
   made any independent effort to identify any such rights.  Information
   on the procedures with respect to rights in RFC documents can be
   found in BCP 78 and BCP 79.

   Copies of IPR disclosures made to the IETF Secretariat and any
   assurances of licenses to be made available, or the result of an
   attempt made to obtain a general license or permission for the use of
   such proprietary rights by implementers or users of this
   specification can be obtained from the IETF on-line IPR repository at
   http://www.ietf.org/ipr.

   The IETF invites any interested party to bring to its attention any
   copyrights, patents or patent applications, or other proprietary
   rights that may cover technology that may be required to implement
   this standard.  Please address the information to the IETF at
   [email-masked].

Disclaimer of Validity

   This document and the information contained herein are provided on an
   "AS IS" basis and THE CONTRIBUTOR, THE ORGANIZATION HE/SHE REPRESENTS
   OR IS SPONSORED BY (IF ANY), THE INTERNET SOCIETY AND THE INTERNET
   ENGINEERING TASK FORCE DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED,
   INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO ANY WARRANTY THAT THE USE OF THE
   INFORMATION HEREIN WILL NOT INFRINGE ANY RIGHTS OR ANY IMPLIED
   WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.

Copyright Statement

   Copyright (C) The Internet Society (2005).  This document is subject
   to the rights, licenses and restrictions contained in BCP 78, and
   except as set forth therein, the authors retain all their rights.

Acknowledgment

   Funding for the RFC Editor function is currently provided by the
   Internet Society.

4.) Abstract -- ok

5.) MIB Boilerplate -- ok

6.) References -- 
[FC-MGMT] draft-ietf-ips-fcmgmt-mib is RFC4044 by now "Fibre Channel
Management MIB"  
RFC2837,  was obsoleted by RFC4044, do we really need it? 

7.) Security Considerations--ok

8.) Introduction--some redundancy exit with the abstract, maybe
combination with section 3.  "Short Overview of Fibre Channel"
     could have helped.

9.) MIB objects--
--there are few TCs in T11-FC-FABRIC-ADDR-MGR-MIB, why T11FabricIndex
was placed in a separate MODULE and all others not with it ?
  Also, based on its description it seems as the range should be
(1..4095) , maybe there should be a word stating the consistency with
[FC-SW-4]
 regarding the value 0.
  Maybe there are good reasons for the above that I simply not aware of.
--T11FamState description could be easier to follow if the order of the
values-explanation  was as the order in the enumeration

--line:260:  element #18 `t11FamPrincipalSwitchSelections' does not
match order of 
  columnar objects under `t11FamEntry',
't11FamLocalPrincipalSwitchSlctns' is listed as #18 and affect the rest
that follow it. 
  Better have the right order as the `t11FamEntry' listed and the
corresponding OBJECT -GROUP

--MIB layout is not as usually recommended:
         +-- xxxNotifications(0)
         +-- xxxObjects(1)
         +-- xxxConformance(2)

It is recommended to change 
t11FamNotifications   OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { t11FamMIBObjects 0 }

TO:
t11FamNotifications   OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { t11FabricAddrMgrMIB 0 }

END of Review
Orly

-----Original Message-----
From: Wijnen, Bert (Bert) [mailto:[email-masked]] 
Sent: Sunday, September 25, 2005 23:13
To: David Black (E-mail)
Cc: Orly Nicklass
Subject: RE: MIB Doctor review draft-ietf-imss-fc-fam-mib-01.txt

David, 

Orly has agreed to do MIB doctor review for this MIB module within the
next week or two.

Orly, pls send comments to WG mailing list, copy authors and myself.

Thanks,
Bert

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