Subject: I-D ACTION:draft-ietf-ipv6-over-ppp-v2-00.txt

From: [email-masked]
Date: Thu, 03 Jun 2004 15:52:29 -0400

A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts directories.
This draft is a work item of the IP Version 6 Working Group Working Group of the IETF.

	Title		: IP Version 6 over PPP
	Author(s)	: S. Varada, D.Haskins
	Filename	: draft-ietf-ipv6-over-ppp-v2-00.txt
	Pages		: 0
	Date		: 2004-6-3
	
       The Point-to-Point Protocol (PPP) [1] provides a standard method
       Of encapsulating Network Layer protocol information over point-
       to-point links.  PPP also defines an extensible Link Control
       Protocol, and proposes a family of Network Control Protocols
       NCPs) for establishing and configuring different network-layer
       protocols.

       This document defines the method for transmission of IP Version
       6 [2] packets over PPP links as well as the Network Control
       Protocol (NCP)for establishing and configuring the IPv6 over
       PPP. It also specifies the method of forming IPv6 link-local
       addresses on PPP links.

       This document is an update to RFC 2472 and, hence, obsoletes RFC
       2472.

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---

From: Pekka Savola <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 4 Jun 2004 13:32:45 +0300 (EEST)

> 	Filename	: draft-ietf-ipv6-over-ppp-v2-00.txt
[...]
> http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-ipv6-over-ppp-v2-00.txt

This doc needs serious editorial brush-up since the policies etc. have 
changed since time times of RFC2472.

A few things I noted:

 - many typos in the old text have been introduced since RFC2472 (was
editing done based on pre-publishing I-D version, not the one edited
by the RFC-editor).  Easily findable using 'wdiff' or the like.
 - the abstract contains a reference, which is disallowed;
 - the abstract is probably too long, it should be about one paragraph 
of 5-10 lines or so.
 - there are a couple of instances of lines going beyond 72 chars
 - the boilerplates and in front and at the end need to be updated to 
RFC3668.
 - there appear to be (some) hyphenations at the end of lines, which 
shouldn't be done.
 - the references need to be split to informative/normative (remember 
that normative must not include other than BCPs and Draft Standards or 
there will be a problem)
 - some characters seem to have been substituted for something weird, 
like '"' for '=93' or '=94'.  Again, 'wdiff' is your friend here.
 - nowadays the security considerations section might require a bit 
more beef.

All in all, this smells like a quick update, text-editing the old RFC 
and not using proper tools such as xml2rfc.  This will probably prove 
short-sighted.

Not commenting on the technical content at this point.

-- 
Pekka Savola                 "You each name yourselves king, yet the
Netcore Oy                    kingdom bleeds."
Systems. Networks. Security. -- George R.R. Martin: A Clash of Kings