Subject: Re: AD review: draft-ietf-kink-kink [section 1-4]

From: Shoichi Sakane <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 11 May 2005 17:29:08 +0900

> Section 2:
> Cite a reference for DER.

The explanation of "DER" should be droped in the section 2.
Because it is clear for KINK to use it because kerberos use it.

I also think the section 2 should be improved.  It is little verbose.
in particular, about Kerberos things, we should refer to the kerberos
specification.  so I suggest to write the following sentence into the
Introduction.

   It is assumed that the reader is familiar with the terms and concepts
   described in the Kerberos version 5.

---

From: Sam Hartman <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 11 May 2005 09:53:01 -0400

>>>>> "Shoichi" == Shoichi Sakane <[email-masked]> writes:

    >> Section 2: Cite a reference for DER.

    Shoichi> The explanation of "DER" should be droped in the section
    Shoichi> 2.  Because it is clear for KINK to use it because
    Shoichi> kerberos use it.

    Shoichi> I also think the section 2 should be improved.  It is
    Shoichi> little verbose.  in particular, about Kerberos things, we
    Shoichi> should refer to the kerberos specification.  so I suggest
    Shoichi> to write the following sentence into the Introduction.

    Shoichi>    It is assumed that the reader is familiar with the
    Shoichi> terms and concepts described in the Kerberos version 5.

Sounds good provided you reference Kerberos (which you do)