Subject: [L2tpext] l2tpext-sbfd-discriminator comments

From: Ignacio Goyret <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 08 Dec 2015 05:52:01 -0800

Hi authors,
Minor details, mostly for clarity or grammar:

1) Page 3, "Encoding format"
   a)
      BEFORE:
        The S-BFD Target Discriminator ID AVP, Attribute Type TBD, is an
                                                                   ^^^^^
        identifier used to advertise the S-BFD target discriminators
        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
        supported by an LCCE for S-BFD Reflector operation.

      AFTER:
        The S-BFD Target Discriminator ID AVP, Attribute Type TBD,
        advertises the S-BFD target discriminators
        ^^^^^^^^^^
        supported by an LCCE for S-BFD Reflector operation.

      OR: s/advertises/identifies/

   a) I believe it should be made more clear that each discriminator
      is 4 octets long. May be the drawing should be modified to show
      something like this:

     +------+------+------+------+
     |   Discriminator Value 1   |
     +------+------+------+------+
       .....
     +------+------+------+------+

     The text description should also include a more formal declaration of
     the AVP value, something like this:

       "The Attribute Value field of this AVP is a sequence of one or
        more S-BFD Discriminator values, each 4 octets long."

   b)
     BEFORE:
        ...discard this AVP without affecting the rest of session negotiation.

     AFTER:
        ...discard this AVP without affecting the rest of the session negotiation.
                                                          ^^^

   c) 
     BEFORE:
       the AVP encoding allows specification an
       arbitrary number of discrminators for extensibility.
                              ^^^^

     AFTER:
       the AVP encoding allows specification of an
                                            ^^^^
       arbitrary number of discriminators for extensibility.
                                ^

2) "Acknowledgements"

   BEFORE:
      performing thorough reviews and providing number of comments.

   AFTER:
      performing thorough reviews and providing a number of comments.
                                               ^^^
   OR:
      performing thorough reviews and providing numerous comments.
                                                ^^^^^^^^

-Ignacio