Subject: [NEXTEL-1] Robert Schwaninger- Re: Ex Parte Comment By Allegory (02-55)

From: [email-masked]
Date: Wed, 05 Nov 2003 20:49:29 -0500

Schwaninger & Associates, P.C. Attorneys at Law
1331 H Street, N.W., Suite 500, Washington, DC  20005
Internet Address . http://www.sa-lawyers.net
telephone . (202) 347-8580
facsimile . (202) 347-8607
November 4, 2003
Marlene H. Dortch, Secretary
Federal Communications Commission
445 12th S.W.
Washington, D.C. 20554
Re:  Ex Parte Comment By Allegory

WT 02-55
One cannot read the Consensus Plan without being struck with strange
admiration for both the authors and its adherents, both willing and
coerced.  The manner by which all involved have devised their biased
strategy for dealing with interference at 800 MHz is combined with a
well waged campaign for public acquiescence that is grand in scale and
deft in diversion.  The Commission might be impressed by the political
acuity the plan represents and might ignore the alleged nabobs who
oppose, claiming it unworkable, unenforceable and inequitable.  The
Consensus Plan is specifically crafted to avoid easy dismissal by logic
or law, because it relies on the agency.s acceptance of its proponents.
actions as that force of nature which demands voraciousness to be
satisfied at all costs.
Consider the wide-eyed excuse for illegal operation upon which the plan
rests.  With innocense feigned to perfection, the drafters have fully
veneered over the destructive nature of their own chosen course, to
produce unauthorized emissions of electromagnetic energy which, although
fully destructive of legitimate operations, is nonetheless touted as an
unavoidable, natural consequence of either physics or business.  Its
chief proponent, Nextel, with the admirable skill of a highly paid
conjurer, entices its audience to focus only on those parts of its act
which enable misdirection and, thus, allow it to perform the greatest
illusion. Nextel might actually cause the agency to ignore the company.s
long and recorded history as the greatest scofflaw of all statutes
designed to assure that operations are without electrical interference,
and reward Nextel for its recalcitrance to boot.  For those persons who
still are suffering the magnetism of Nextel.s playing Mesmer, I offer
this simple tale as illustrative of Nextel.s position leading up to and
including this matter.
.How can I be found to have violated any public obligation?. the shooter
asks himself. .The first death of a neighbor was an obvious accident for
which the family of the deceased did not make suit, thus it was
obviously performed with their permission.  I was awed by the
devastation of the deed, but was buoyed by the knowledge that I had
first reviewed carefully my papers, which appropriately included a gun
permit..
Having not been called to task by the local constable, I was provided an
opportunity to appreciate the pecuniary results of the accidental
slaying.  I noted that the widow was without means to maintain the
adjacent property of the deceased neighbor.  I approached her and after
assuring her that I forgave my neighbor for having stood too close to
our respective boundaries and having further failed to have adequately
protected himself against my shell.  Finally, in an act of supreme
generosity of spirit, I forgave both the dead neighbor and his widow for
allowing gunsmiths to produce my weapon in such a hazardous fashion.
To assure that no further harm would come from my future use of
firearms, I accepted the deed to the widow.s land to allow her to move
her belongings to another part of the county.  Since I have always
exhibited a weakness for charity, I lent the widow the use of a wagon at
an extremely reasonable rate, to assist her in the pilgrimage.  Despite
the temporary loss of profit from the wagon, my gesture was rewarded
with the satisfaction of having done this small right.
With the addition of my neighbor.s land as further capital, I was able
to obtain the necessary financing for the construction of a crude, but
enjoyable shooting range.  The bank loan used was listed as a valuable
asset by the local banker, who reported that the township was enjoying
an economic uptick by increased investment in local real property.  I
was naturally pleased by my contribution to the local economy.
I invited my fellow residents of the township to come and enjoy the
pleasures of shooting at my range, which some enjoyed at a fair and
reasonable prices.  Most specifically, I invited the local constable to
see the efficient nature of my design.  He admired its construction, but
questioned the length of the course, noting that a shell.s travels might
still exceed the distance to the border of my property.  I noted
carefully his failure to direct me to alter the range in any fashion and
accepted graciously his tacit acquiescence in my design.
When another neighbor was felled by an errant shot, I became concerned.
If neighbors were
going to blithely wander to the edges of their property, without
appropriate regard for my shooting
range, then the inevitable deaths would become a distraction to my
patrons.  Although the victim.s cry
had an only momentary effect on the aim of my patron, the subsequent
wailing of the widow that
followed was nearly cause for a momentary suspension of business.  Such
delays to my enterprise
arising from the neighbors. irresponsible acts might cause difficulties
for me.  More troubling was the
potential harm to my reputation which might be unnecessarily besmirched
by the public caterwauling of
another bereaved widow.
I paced the floor of my study for hours trying to devise a method of
appeasing the untidy emotions of the newly created executrix, while also
concocting a plan to demonstrate conclusively that my range would be
operated in a manner that would be fully promotional of the entire
community.
Having used what I recorded in my ledgers to be, at the least, a
three-penny of shoe leather and more than modicum of the pile of a
particular portion of the rug, a plan slowly emerged.
The problem was, I deduced, that the range was rectangular in shape, set
in the familiar pattern of shooters at one end and targets at the
other.  Although comfortable in design and application, the result was a
barrage of shells all exiting the property at a given point that have
proven to be somewhat injurious to the local population who insisted on
occupying a position beyond the targets.  I further noted that the
rifles employed threw the shells beyond the target and likely could not
be adjusted to end this effect, since the gunsmiths. art was focused on
forward thrust, rather than adjustable length of trajectory.  Also
notable was the unlikely solution that my customers might be restrained
to hit only the targets, which were reinforced to assure that shells did
not travel further when a .hit. was scored.  Some of my clients
possessed powerful weapons but weak aims, happily coupled with a strong
willingness to pay my fees.
I, therefore, concluded that the design of the range could be altered to
provide reasonable protection to the neighbors.  By redesigning its
shape, from one of rectangular to one of a sweeping arc, the shooters
would not be focusing shot and fire on a single, inadvertently deadly
spot.  Therefore, with the grateful assistance of the local banker, I
secured the financing for the reconstruction of the range.  As goodness
often produces economic reward from a grateful creator, the redesign of
the range produced added benefits that were not originally conceived.
The newly designed range could accommodate numerous additional patrons,
all pointing their weapons in various directions and, thus, slinging
shot across a nearly 360 degree trajectory. Unfortunately, despite the
increased revenues which I rapidly enjoyed from shooting fees, the broad
sweep of gun fire was not without nagging problems.
Fully six more neighbors complained, having lost family members due to
the continued unexplained penchant for persons. wandering in areas
adjacent to my property.
To accommodate the neighbors, I offered to purchase each parcel which
was condemned by gunfire.  Admittedly, the amounts offered were not
substantial.  However, the reduction in price was fully justifiable
given the fact that the tracts were unsuitable for use or habitation.
One could not expect a premium.  The widow Smith.s argument to the
contrary was publicly and successfully rebutted when I pointed out that
she should not be allowed to employ a land transaction as a vehicle for
extortion.  To prove my point, I introduced an appraisal from a
reputable firm that clearly stated, .the subject property is unsuitable
for any use, including by native fauna, as the danger is constant and
without known remedy..  Her price, it was adjudged, was too high as
reflecting the former status of her estate and, thus, her demand for
more money was outrageous and evinced an evil intent to obtain an unfair
purchase price.
She was further chastised for raising the issue of her dead husband who,
as no longer living, was not entitled to any benefit from the
transaction, was not residing on the property, and therefore, could not
be deemed to be relevant for any purpose.  His death was the result of a
simple accident for which there was no known cure and which occurrence
could not have transpired without his willing positioning along the
track of the shooters pill.  Further, it was known locally that Josiah
Smith was an incautious man.
At bar, I pointed out that as he was already interned in the local
cemetery, there was additionally no way to retrieve my property in the
form of the shell lodged in Mr. Smith.s now, buried chest.  Although I
was willing to forgive the Widow Smith.s oversight in failing to respect
the laws regarding the prompt return of personal property, I did note to
the magistrate that her demand for a exorbitant land price evinced a
furthering of her scheme to turn each event into an opportunity for
financial gain.  .Was it not enough,. I pled, .that she confiscated my
property without regard to its ownership for her own convenience and to
lower the administrative costs of the estate?  Do we now reward her for
this act by allowing her to step farther beyond redemption by supporting
her efforts to turn this unfortunate event into a means to extract
unfair payment for land?.  The logic was unassailable and my cause was
won.  I collected the Smith property at my offered price, there being no
other bidders, and bore no rancor toward the widow as I watched her
wagon piled high with a century of family belongings head over the far
hill toward another life.  By the time that parcel was added to my
growing estate, I had expanded the size of my lands and range by ten
times.  More importantly, the popularity of the range with shooters from
beyond our township increased my revenues substantially and allowed for
the construction of additional ranges upon the properties, designed
carefully so that the inhabitants of one range would not be aiming along
a line toward another of the ranges and its inhabitants.  To assure
harmonious relations with my neighbors, I discussed with other range
owners the problem of persons curiously examining our operations to
their ultimate demise.  We decided that greater cooperation was required
to deal with these occasional distractions to business.  Thus, we
drafted a Best Range Operations Guide, which called for a full
examination of each incident of unplanned interference with life, which
methods would be employed to collect data, devise methods of improved
safety, encourage greater cooperation from the mutually responsible
families of the victims, and work together to improve the operation of
the ranges by making helpful suggestions regarding such things as the
location of roads, homes, horses, children, and glass objects in
relation to the flight of bullets.  The work was deemed necessary and
advantageous to all in reducing the interference created by the
conflicting use of the shooting range and those persons on neighboring
plots who did not exhibit the dedication to economic advantage which we
range owners nobly demonstrated through our willingness to invest
capital in our land.
With my business booming, I was quite happy to show it off to all types
of persons who were invited to enjoy a day.s shoot.  Extolling the
virtue of my design which relieved the problem of concentration and
naturally attendant harm to a single area, the nearly attentive local
safety officer recommended some form of standardization based on the
circular aim of my efforts.  Modesty aside, I saw the appropriateness of
such a move which would assure that all ranges would be similarly made
safe by avoidance of the production of concentrated fire.
The county board consisted of a odd collection of nobodies, nearly
somebodies, and a smattering of were somebodies.  I knew them all
personally and had even entertained a few at my range, where over brandy
we might discuss politics ranging from the high cost of cemetery care in
the public repository, to the failure of government to regulate the
quality of ammunition to assure a truer shot.  When talk wandered into
land prices, I was able to confide that the value of my real property
kept rising in step with the increased revenues enjoyed from my range.
.I would expect,. I said, .that any prudent investor in the commercial
advantages of land ownership would do well in the county, provided one
chose a sensible application for use of land..  The grunts of approval
to this logic and the diligence which I had shown in developing my range
property were noted at each occasion.  When a board member would leave
his post, I offered them a position with my enterprise.  In truth, board
membership did not prepare these persons for the rigors of commerce and
their contributions to my enterprise were negligible.  However, I
considered it nearly sinful to allow these former public servants to
have to rely on the dole, and worse, to set them upon our community
without direction, thus risking that economic mischief that is the
inevitable byproduct of too much acclaim and too little acumen.  I admit
that my public mindedness was, again, at play with my hard earned
business receipts, but I tolerated the paltry return on investment that
such offers of employment reaped.
In fairness and truth (two ideals to which I have shown constant fealty,
if not felicity) my long association with board members did provide a
level of access to those considerations of policy and law entertained by
the forum.  Often I was privy to considerations which had not yet become
public and further, I was sometimes able to cause such considerations to
be commenced in the first instance.  My admission of this ability may be
deemed vanity, of sorts, but I conclude that I am merely reporting my
status for the purpose of continuing this description of material
events.
It was via this access that I first floated the idea of a standard code
for the operation of shooting ranges.  The initial talks were quite
informal, but the importance of the idea to me was so great that I
pursued each board member and did not consider the cost of the above
average port required to assure an attentive audience.  Although some of
the board members expressed full disinterest as they could not discern
any advantage to them from devoting additional energy beyond that which
was required to move about the eating utensils at my table, other
members considered carefully my proposal.
To each member I described the danger which is involved in the operation
of a shooting range and the need to reduce the effects of commerce upon
the local population.  I explained with detail the unwillingness of
gunsmiths to address the problem in rifle design.  I noted the number of
former township residents who might be alive today if such steps had
been taken sooner. In fact, as the entity whose range had lowered the
population of tax paying citizens by the greatest amount due to the
success of my enterprise, I easily declared that my level of expertise
on the subject was unparalleled.  Impressed with the sincerity of my
effort, some of the board members urged me to consider the issue more
broadly and propose a greater land use plan.
Given the daunting size that the land use plan was likely to occupy upon
my desk, I opted to seek assistance from my personal advisor and
confidant, Mister Fuzziner.  Although lacking physical stature and even
more shrunken in his appreciation of the truth, Fuzziner had long been
faithful to me and my business.  Once I explained the situation
regarding the board, he shook his head and mumbled, .they are easily the
greatest collection of do-nothings in the whole of the county.  However,
they are mercifully malleable..
.So is putty,. I replied.  .But it rarely stands for much..  .Well, in
this case,. he sneered, .we shall turn pudding into hard candy and enjoy
the sweetness of it all..
Fuzziner.s assistance having been secured, I awaited the fruits of his
labor by returning to the range and going over the books.  I noted that
although the number of patrons had leveled off to some degree, the
amount of ammunition expended by each was showing a dramatic increase.
I listed this within my column of .bullets of use. and made a note that
stated that the range capacity should be observed to assure that rifle
re-use, combined with bullet access, should not be ignored and cause
patrons to have to queue while awaiting an open shooting position.
Range competition throughout the county was increasing and I was
attempting to stay atop the game.
During the weeks I waited for Fuzziner.s promised project, the issue of
standardized range design became increasingly muddled.  On a Thursday, a
troop of the local militia was marching down the river road toward its
practice ground, armed with only wooden rifles.  The arms of wood were
employed because the county had not allocated funds to provide real guns
to the militia.  (A fiscally responsible move, in my opinion, as it
assured that the county would not burden diligent merchants like me with
unnecessary taxes.)  However, the occasion of this faux preparedness
exercise was to result unfortunately.
The river road passes within a hundred paces of the edge of my range.
Given the healthy demand for shooting time that I was faithfully
servicing on that Thursday, the combination of events proved a greater
bother than usual, as three of the militiamen were injured, one
fatally.  Upon hearing of the incident, it was apparent that despite the
obvious foolishness exhibited by the militia, some blame for reducing
the number of persons readied for defense would fall upon me.  And, as
expected, the local journal that circulated the following week called
into stark question the operation of the range.  The article was plainly
biased, failing to note that the militia had not signaled its approach
to the range.  The item also did not provide any positive points
regarding the public service rendered by the range to its patrons. I,
thus, made a mental note to see the publisher and explain the merits of
my advertising.  Fearing their precarious positions before the civic
trough, two of the county board members called upon me to express their
concern about the matter.  I calmed them and pointed to the fact that
one of the men killed actually lived on property adjacent to the range.
Thus, I noted, he likely would have been destroyed by a private act of
foolishness upon his own property, had the incident not taken place.
.The hand of God,. I intoned, .was prepared to smite him on the road or
in his vegetable garden among his turnips.  No man is to blame for
Providence.  The fact that most of the militiamen survived unscathed is
sure proof of this fact, for only those chosen were taken and the rest
are the wiser for the experience..
The board members looked nervously at me and declared, .we will expect
that your promised land use plan will point a way toward avoiding such
problems in the future.  If not, you may not count on our support..
This display of limited, but undeniable spine, was not lost on me.  Nor
was it lost on Fuzziner.
.The plan I have for you is bold, will cost you some of your profits,
and will be unsteadily received by the lower members of the township,.
said Fuzziner.  .However, if adopted it will make you margins in fine
excess of your investment..
.You will propose that the board condemn all lands around the range for
a distance of three leagues and place the land in trust.  You will be
the beneficiary of the trust following your performance of the
following.  You will trade the county two parcels, the one over near the
rendering plant that you acquired two years ago at the tax auction and
the other parcel that lays at the foothills of the Blue Mountains near
the edge of the county..
.Persons living within the condemned parcels will be forced to move to
the Blue Mountain site and will be given a parcel of equal size to
claim.  The parcel near the rendering plant will be given to the local
militia as a training site.  To facilitate the transaction and sweeten
the pot, you will offer the cost of wagons and drovers to assist the
move of surrounding residents and you will finance the cost of the
militia.s rifles to replace the wooden ones now employed..
I thought the plan had promise and immediately recognized that the value
of the land condemned would provide a contiguous plot to me, thus
increasing the total value of my estate.  Besides, the condemned parcels
included water rights, whereas the Blue Mountain site had little in the
way of streams unless the rain flowed down the mountains, which happened
at irregular times.
And although the rendering plant site was large and water fed, the odor
from the plant and the waste in the stream, made it a questionable place
for development.  I had already made inquiry with my patrons about
creating a second range there and most stated that they did not choose
to spend hard earned money to shoot down wind from the plant.  Thus, my
purchase had not amounted to much up to this time, but the plan might
change all that.
While I was contemplating the exchange, Fuzziner explained the other
elements of the plan which made adoption likely.  He pointed out that
the persons living in the condemned region were mostly common folk with
little political capital to expend in a challenge.  He further noted
that some of the land was occupied by agencies of the township and
county for public roadways.  However, he pointed out, he believed that
the council could be encouraged to show them that a single, useful
parcel, even near the rendering plant, would provide to them more
acreage.
.To pull this off,. he said in almost a whisper, .we must emphasize
three things in our plan.  First, that the operation of the range is a
great benefit to the populace, run in a legal and taxable fashion, that
satisfies the needs of the county.  Second, that the size of your
operations has benefitted the community and local commerce, owing to the
large revenues, the attractiveness of the setting, and your selfless
ability to reduce unemployment by reducing the rolls of employable
persons, albeit via the occasional accident.  Finally, and here.s the
beauty, that something must be done to safeguard the community from the
natural occurrence of gunshot and that your sacrifice in this matter
should be viewed as selfless, patriotic, and a full solution to further
problems..
Although I fully understood the points being made by the crafty
Fuzziner, I was harboring doubts about our ability to sell the package.
.Won.t people recognize that I.m going to benefit from this exchange?. I
asked.
.Says who?. fired back Fuzziner.  .By my calculation, the amount of land
that you are donating to the cause is, in fact, several hectares larger
than what you will receive.  Your willingness to provide wagons and
drovers fully supplies compensation to those residents whose lack of
foresight has placed  them in harm.s way and who are a constant source
of rebellious nattering to the board.  Your donation of rifles to the
militia, in addition to the parcel near the rendering plant, should be
heralded for its public minded generosity.  I would be surprised,
therefore, if you are not nominated for a civic prize..  Fuzziner
studied my face carefully and saw that although he was making headway in
his increasingly attractive plan, I was not yet fully convinced.  .You
are concerned about the departed militiaman that ran into your patrons.
shot?.
.Yes,. I admitted.  .It is bad business to be tangentially involved
through one.s business interests in the loss of a local agent, even one
so poorly fated for which little might have saved..  The cobra-like
smile that passed over Fuzziner.s face was palpable and dark, but his
eyes shined with a glee that one might mistake for divine rapture in
another man.  .I have taken the liberty of announcing your creation of
the Leonard Watson Memorial Fund for the promotion of readiness by the
local militia..
.Who, the duce, is Leonard Watson?. I immediately asked.
.The bugger who caught it..
.And what is this memorial fund?.
.It is whatever the constable wants it to be.  He is to be the
administrator of the fund, given full discretion in the use of your kind
grant,. explained Fuzziner.  .And owing to your kind and noble act, the
constable has become your strongest supporter and has rallied the local
safety corps to your cause, nearly to a man..
With .huzzahs. and .well dones. given most sincerely, along with a
sizable commission, I thanked Mister Fuzziner and continued on my way,
repeating in my head the many other benefits of the plan explained by
Fuzziner.  They were, avoidance of annoying tangles from funeral
processions that had increased; reduction of bothersome noise of the
range.s operations to local residents, by moving each adversely affected
party to safe distance; the ability to expand operations to provide
greater services to the county.s deserving residents; providing for the
logical use of county property by establishing a community on the nearly
barren land near the Blue Mountains, while simultaneously finding some
use for the parcel near the rendering plant; and on.  Thus all would
conclude that never would the board in history since or fore use its
condemnation powers more rationally and to greater cause.
The plan presently rests before the board as it is studied and
considered.  Oddly, for unfathomable reasons which likely lie in the
blackest portions of their ungrateful hearts, there are persons who
oppose adoption of my plan.  The widows of past victims have noisily
condemned me in some circles, but since they are no longer occupants of
land adjacent, their opinions cannot be found to stand for much.
A few of the militia appear still embittered by the effect of fate.s
hand upon the past Mister Watson, but this is mere emotion and their
ardor will surely cool when the logic of the rendering plant and the
delivery of the new rifles is in hand.  Besides, I have already pledged
to sell ammunition to them at nearly cost and the contract is
forthcoming from the constable.
Other ranges with but slightly better records in preserving the breath
of their neighbors oppose my plan, promoting a baseless suggestion that
the value and location of the land I might receive does not justify the
condemnation and that other means for providing added safety of
operation exist.  This logic is absurd.  No other means suggested by
them would provide greater safety than the removal of the affected
residents to a position of safety, far away.
One member of the board was evincing some small resistance.  I reminded
him of three important elements which I believe will pull him rightly
into my camp.  First, the operation of the range is in accord with law,
permit, zoning and my commercial rights as a taxpaying member of local
society, all of which has been acknowledged repeatedly by the council
and thus, the board stands as the public symbol of the nagging problem
and the appointed source of the cure.  Second, the trade of property is
being fully funded from my own pocket with the board spared the burden
of any expense in wagons, drovers, rifles, purchase of property, etc.
Thus, the board may take laurels in its solving of a problem without
adverse impact on the public coffers.  Finally, and in a manner which
would make the coy subtlety of a virgin.s touch seem overt, I have
intimated in the most deniable manner, that a nay vote attaches to a man
that does not harbor aspirations of greater position following his
service on the board.
The only other notable opponent to my plan is the always troublesome
Robert Henry.  In a
brazen manner which I refuse to even publicly acknowledge, he has
questioned the legality of the plan
and has suggested his own plan for the board.s comparison.  In his
misguided manner, he has publicly
stated that the root and cause of the problem lies in the manner by
which my range is operated which he
calls inherently unsafe.  Henry has stated that the cause of the
untimely ends of neighbors is, somehow,
my fault and was fully preventable had I placed responsibility ahead of
profits.  Noting that this
suggestion smacks of socialism, I discount any such notion as purely
pandering to the smaller
landowners who have not been blessed with my vision and willingness to
invest in the commercial
success of our county.  Henry has vowed to take the matter to the
magistrate for judicial determination
in the event that the board sees reason and adopts my plan.  The man has

been a thorn in my meat for
over a decade and, yet, he persists
.
I am at odd.s end in understanding this Henry.  Although he appears a
bright enough fellow, he is blind to progress.  He does not appreciate
my commercial sacrifices which have come at such a low cost to all, save
a few unfortunate souls who have stood in the way of the range.s well
meaning shot.   I have added considerably to local trade and commerce.
My servants depend greatly on my range for their livelihood and their
families are the better for it.  The landowners who will be allowed to
migrate will receive a fresh start and I am offering twice the amount of
land to the earliest pilgrims.  The constable praises my grant and gift
of the rendering plant land, and speaks well of the rifles which will
arrive immediately following the striking of the deal.  And the local
banker is nearly dancing with joy, preparing to make loans to the
migrating landowners to build new homes in the mountains to complete the
exciting new community which will be borne of the plan.  Yet, Henry
still opposes it all, climbing upon some self-constructed pulpit he
names .equity, law, and justice..
What makes Robert Henry.s position so puzzling, is that he is not
directly affected one way or the other.  I have never denied nor offered
him a position, thus his interest is not pecuniary.  He owns no land
near mine, therefore, he is not at risk from the effects of shot or the
whims of the board. Henry appears to have no reason (and I hasten to
add, no basis) for his actions.  Simply put, there is no profit to be
gained by his interference in this matter.  A man thus moved so
indirectly must be presumed to harbor a darkly secret motive for his
position.  I must discover what it is and expose it to bring ruin upon
him.  I will start with this idea he calls .equity,. a foreign concept
that is likely linked to agents fully alien to business.   I will gauge
his range, place him in my sights, and not bemoan the natural occurrence
of a rain of invective loudly fired upon a man of such meager means.  I
will make of him an outcast as all cranks are destined to be.
I will do all of this as a service to the system of government and
commerce which I have supported and enjoyed, and which in turns enjoys
my acts of gratitude upon its servants.  Because, as time has shown all
repeatedly as surely as a rising sun, when the pocket cannot hold both
profit and law, law must be cast out like annoying lint that clings to
coin.  I will voluntarily remove this annoyance in gratitude to free
enterprise, and the marketplace will doubtless thank me for it.
Submitted to this docket with humble appreciation to Franklin, Swift,
Thackeray, and Twain, whose unwitting assistance is noted, but whose
talents have not been equaled herein.
Respectfully submitted,
Robert H. Schwaninger, Jr.

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