Subject: Re: [PSAMP] New Version Notification for draft-ietf-psamp-info-10

From: Paul Aitken <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:14:20 +0100

Thomas, all,

> A new version of I-D, draft-ietf-psamp-info-10.txt has been
> successfuly submitted by Thomas Dietz and posted to the IETF
> repository.

Thanks for this. Here's some feedback:

The table at the end of section 8 (right above the 8.1 title) is not
wide enough to accommodate the full names of #318 and #319. These have
been truncated, and should be fixed.

Section "8.2.1. selectorAlgorithm":

       Further method identifiers may be added to the list below.  It
       might be necessary to define new Information Elements to specify
       their parameters

   - full stop (period) is missing at the end.

OLD

       The selectorAlgorithm registry is maintained by IANA and can be
       updated when specifications of the new method(s) and any new
       Information Elements are provided.

       New assignments for the PSAMP selectionAlgorithm will be
       administered by IANA, and subject to Expert Review [RFC5226].  The
       group of experts must double check the selection method
       definitions and Information Elements with already defined
       selection methods and Information Elements for completeness,
       accuracy and redundancy.  Those experts will initially be drawn
       from the Working Group Chairs and document editors of the IPFIX
       and PSAMP Working Groups.

NEW

       The selectorAlgorithm registry is maintained by IANA.  New
       assignments for the registry will be administered by IANA,
       and subject to Expert Review [RFC5226].  The registry can be
       updated when specifications of the new method(s) and any new
       Information Elements are provided.

       The group of experts must double check the selectorAlgorithm
       definitions and Information Elements with already defined
       selectorAlgorithms and Information Elements for completeness,
       accuracy and redundancy.  Those experts will initially be drawn
       from the Working Group Chairs and document editors of the IPFIX
       and PSAMP Working Groups.

END

OLD

       The following packet selection methods identifiers are defined in
       [I-D.ietf-psamp-info]:
       +----+------------------------+------------------------+
       | ID |        Method          |      Parameters        |
       +----+------------------------+------------------------+

NEW

       The following selectorAlgorithm identifiers are defined here:

       +----+------------------------+------------------------+
       | ID |        Method          |      Parameters        |
       +----+------------------------+------------------------+

END

       There is a broad variety of possible parameters that could be used
       Property match Filtering (5) but currently there are no agreed
       parameters specified.

   - Should say "*for* Property match Filtering". However, the
information in the table above makes this paragraph redundant.

ie,
       +----+------------------------+------------------------+
       | 5  | Property match         | no agreed parameters   |
       |    | Filtering              |                        |
       +----+------------------------+------------------------+

Therefore, the paragraph should be removed.

Section "8.3. Hash Configuration (326-334)"

- It isn't immediately clear that "as well as in sections 3.8 and 7.1."
does NOT refer to this document itself:

OLD

    The following Information Elements can be used for describing the
    sampling configuration of a Selection Process.  The individual
    parameters are explained in more detail in the
    [I-D.ietf-psamp-sample-tech] in section 6.2 as well as in sections
    3.8 and 7.1.

NEW

    The following Information Elements can be used for describing the
    sampling configuration of a Selection Process.  The individual
    parameters are explained in more detail in sections 6.2, 3.8 and 7.1
    of [I-D.ietf-psamp-sample-tech].

END

Sections:

   8.3.1. digestHashValue
   8.3.2. hashIPPayloadOffset
   8.3.3. hashIPPayloadSize
   8.3.4. hashOutputRangeMin
   8.3.5. hashOutputRangeMax
   8.3.6. hashSelectedRangeMin
   8.3.7. hashSelectedRangeMax
   8.3.8. hashDigestOutput
   8.3.9. hashInitialiserValue

- It isn't immediately clear that "See also section 6.2" does NOT refer
to this document itself:

OLD

       See also section 6.2 as well sections 3.8 and 7.1 in [I-D.ietf-
       psamp-sample-tech].

NEW

       See also sections 6.2, 3.8 and 7.1 in
       [I-D.ietf-psamp-sample-tech].

END

10.2. PSAMP Related Considerations

OLD

    Each new selection method MUST be assigned a unique value for the
    selectorAlgorithm Information Element.  Its configuration
    parameter(s), along with the way to report it/them with an Options
    Template, MUST be clearly specified.  The initial content of the
    selection method registry is found in section 8.2.1.

NEW

    Each new selection method MUST be assigned a unique value in the
    selectorAlgorithm registry.  Its configuration parameter(s), along
    with the way to report it/them with an Options Template, MUST be
    clearly specified.  The initial content of the selectorAlgorithm
    registry is found in section 8.2.1.

END

Cheers.
-- 
Paul Aitken
Cisco Systems Ltd, Edinburgh, Scotland.

_______________________________________________
PSAMP mailing list
[email-masked]
https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/psamp