Subject: [dhcwg] draft-ietf-dhc-dhcpv6-vendor-message-00 WGLC comments

From: Alfred Hönes <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 1 Apr 2009 19:07:53 +0200 (MESZ)

I also have studied  draft-ietf-dhc-dhcpv6-vendor-message-00
and have a few recommendations for editorial improvements of this
draft as well.

(1)  Section 1, 1st para -- improved wording

I suggest to swap words for clarity:

              vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
|  The DHCPv6 [RFC3315] protocol specifies a mechanism for the
   assignment of addresses and configuration information to nodes.  [...]
---           vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
|  The DHCPv6 protocol [RFC3315] specifies a mechanism for the
   assignment of addresses and configuration information to nodes.  [...]

(2)   Section 1, 1st para, and Section 6.2

RFC 2434 has been obsoleted and replaced by the new BCP 26, RFC 5226.
Please update the reference and the citation tag accordingly.

(3)  Sections 3 and 5 -- code point assignment strategy

The strategy followed for assignment of the DHCPv6 msg-type
code point VENDOR-SPECIFIC is confusing:

In the IANA Considerations, the draft assumes normative behavior
of the WG, by stating:

   IANA is requested to assign DHCPv6 Message type 254 to the Vendor-
   specific Message in the registry maintained in [DHCPv6Params]:

      254 VENDOR-SPECIFIC

Contrary to that, below the first diagram in Setcion 3, it says:

|     msg-type             VENDOR-SPECIFIC (to-be-assigned)
                                            ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
For consistency, that should be changed to:

|     msg-type             VENDOR-SPECIFIC (254)
                                            ^^^

(4)  Section 3 -- language improvement ?

In the paragraph above the second diagram, the phrase
"of identical format to"  seems to be unpleasant.
How about   "in a format identical to"  ?

Kind regards,
  Alfred Hönes.

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