Subject: [Dots] Shepherd review of draft-ietf-dots-telemetry-use-cases

From: "Valery Smyslov" <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2022 16:54:40 +0300

Hi,

I reviewed the document and found some nits (mostly grammar and typos).

1. Abstract.

The expansion of DOTS is "DDoS Open Threat Signaling". In the abstract it is expanded as "Denial-of-service Open Threat Signaling".

2. Figure 1, Figure 3, Figure 5, Figure 7, Figure 16, Figure 18.

All contain the same typo:

s/S is for DOTS client functionality/S is for DOTS server functionality

3. Section 3.1.1.

IPFIX, BGP, SNMP aren't expanded on first use.

4. Section 3.1.1.

   After that, the orchestrator
   orders the forwarding nodes to redirect as much of the top talker's traffic...

Shouldn't it be top-talkers' ?

5. Figure 7.

s/BGP Flow spec/BGP Flowspec 

6. Section 3.1.5.

s/It may also necessary/It may also be necessary

7. Section 3.1.5.

s/The forwarding nodes  send traffic statistics ... to the orchestrator the using "vendor-id" and "attack-id" telemetry attributes/
The forwarding nodes  send traffic statistics ... to the orchestrator by using "vendor-id" and "attack-id" telemetry attributes

8. Section 3.2.

s/Figure 15 provides ...  from the orchestrator to the network ./Figure 15 provides ...  from the orchestrator to the network.

9. Section 3.2.

s/Then, the DDoS mitigation systems reports the status of DDoS countermeasures to the orchestrator sending "attack-detail" telemetry
attributes./
Then, the DDoS mitigation systems reports the status of DDoS countermeasures to the orchestrator by sending "attack-detail"
telemetry attributes.

10. Section 3.2.

s/After  that, the orchestrator integrates the reports ... and send it to a network administrator .../
After  that, the orchestrator integrates the reports ... and sends them to a network administrator ...

(two places)

11. Section 3.3.1.

   On the other hand, DDoS detection based on the
   DMSes is a more accurate method for detecting attack traffic better
   than flow monitoring.

I have trouble parsing this text. Probably:

  On the other hand, DDoS detection based on the
   DMSes is a more accurate method for detecting attack traffic 
   than flow monitoring.

12. Section 3.3.1.

s/The aim of this use case is to increases flow collector's detection .../The aim of this use case is to increase flow collector's
detection ...

13. Section 3.3.1.

s/statisticsto/statistics to

14. Section 4.

s/a DDoS attacks/DDoS attacks

Regards,
Valery.