Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-inch-iodef-12.txt

From: Christian Vogt <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 09 May 2007 16:37:01 +0300

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-inch-iodef-12.txt
Reviewer: Christian Vogt
Review Date: 9 May 2007
IESG Telechat date: 10 May 2007

Summary:

This draft is in a good condition.  Especially the introduction provides
a reasonable understanding of the purpose and background of the standard
for an unexperienced reader.  Few comments below, though.

Comments:

I found that it might be useful to allow a telephone number to be
accompanied by a time range during which it should be used.  E.g., it
might be ok to call an office number between 8 am and 5 pm, but a
cell-phone number should be used outside this time range.  Possibly, the
free-form "meaning" attribute in the Telephone class could be used for
this purpose.  If so, it might be useful to state this explicitly in the
document.

In addition, some editorial nits:

- Section 2.4, page 8:
  s/encoding of the document are/encoding of the document is/

  [I'm not 100% sure if "data" goes with singular or plural in
  the English language, since I'm not a native speaker.  But from
  the information I found, it should be singular in this context.]

- Section 2.13, page 10:
  s/A telephone number/A telephone or fax number/

- Section 3.7.1, page 22:
  s/Regional Latin-American/Latin-American/

- Section 7.1, page 62:
  s/A example/An example/

Best regards,
- Christian

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From: Roman Danyliw <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 10 May 2007 14:45:49 -0400

Christian: Thanks for the detailed review.

Specific comments are inline

> this purpose.  If so, it might be useful to state this explicitly in the

The use case you are describing is exactly why Telephone@meaning and 
Fax@meaning attributes were originally added.

As multiple parties are thinking it, but it is not document, perhaps it 
should be.  I propose adding the following additional text to description 
of these attributes:

"... A free-form description of the element content (e.g., hours of 
coverage for a given number)."

>   s/Regional Latin-American/Latin-American/

Yes, you are correct in all counts.  Thanks for proofing it.

Regards,
Roman

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From: Christian Vogt <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 11 May 2007 12:26:56 +0300

Hello Roman:

> should be.  I propose adding the following additional text to
> description of these attributes:
> 

Yes, that's a good suggestion IMO.

Best regards,
- Christian