Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-savi-fcfs-09.txt

From: Francis Dupont <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 19 Jun 2011 00:00:27 +0200

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on 
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at 
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments 
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-savi-fcfs-09.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20110530
IETF LC End Date: 20110526
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready with nits

Major issues: None

Minor issues:
 - the main issue is the name of the draft, fortunately it should be solved
  with the publication as an RFC (the name doesn't suggest what the document
  is about, in particular the fact it is based on IPv6 ND snooping).

Nits/editorial comments:
 - many, many occurrences: i.e. -> i.e., and e.g. -> e.g.,
  (IMHO in the middle ' i.e. ' -> ', i.e.,' but ask the RFC Editor)

 - Abstract page 1: please avoid abbrevs in the abstract (FCFS and SAVI)
  even there are in the title.

 - ToC 3 and Appendix A page 24: behaviour -> behavior
 (and 2.3 page 5, 3.2.3 pages 13 and 14, etc)

 - Introduction page 4: same comment about the Introduction (BTW abbrevs
  must be introduced here even they already are in the Abstract)

 - 2.3 page 5: my speller complains about Neighbour (English vs American),
  IMHO we can ignore it.

 - 2.6 page 9 (figure): SWICTH-B -> SWITCH-B

 - 3.2.3 page 13: millisconds -> milliseconds
  (and pages 14 and 16 millisecs -> milliseconds)

 - 6 page 23: Add missing countries (USA and Spain)

 - A.1.1 page 25: 802.1x -> 802.1X

 - A.1.1 page 26: Access Node(DSLAM) -> Access Node (DSLAM)

 - A.1.1.1 page 26: sub-case:SAVI -> sub-case: SAVI

Regards

[email-masked]