Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-dhc-dhcpv6-relay-supplied-options-06

From: "Vijay K. Gurbani" <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 02 Jun 2011 10:41:28 -0500

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-dhc-dhcpv6-relay-supplied-options-06
Reviewer: Vijay K. Gurbani
Review Date: June-2-2011
IETF LC End Date: Unknown
IESG Telechat date: June-9-2011

Summary: This draft is ready as an Proposed Standard.

Major issues: 0
Minor issues: 2
Nits/editorial comments: 0

Minor issues:

- Abstract
   The abstract is written as one long sentence, which appears
   not to read well.  I would suggest the following text to
   impart more clarity, but please feel free to change as needed:

   DHCPv6 relay agents cannot communicate with DHCPv6 clients
   directly.  However, under some network configurations, the
   relay agent possess some attribute that would be useful to
   the DHCPv6 client.  This document describes a mechanism
   whereby the DHCPv6 relay agent can provide such attributes to
   the DHCPv6 server, who in turn can pass these on to the DHCPv6
   clients.

- Section 2
   "... the function of the relay agent is simply to deliver
   the payload from the server."  Is it "from" the server,
   or "to" the server?  Reading the text until Section 2, it
   appears that "to" the server is more appropriate.

Thanks,

- vijay
-- 
Vijay K. Gurbani, Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent
1960 Lucent Lane, Rm. 9C-533, Naperville, Illinois 60566 (USA)
Email: vkg@{bell-labs.com,acm.org} / [email-masked]
Web:   http://ect.bell-labs.com/who/vkg/