Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-ccamp-rfc5787bis-05

From: "Roni Even" <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 13 Aug 2012 23:07:24 +0200

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you
may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-ccamp-rfc5787bis-05.

Reviewer: Roni Even

Review Date:2012-8-12

IETF LC End Date: 2012-8-17

IESG Telechat date:

Summary: This draft is almost ready for publication as a standard track RFC.

Major issues:

Minor issues:

In section 6.1 " If specified more than once, instances preceding the first
will be ignored and condition SHOULD be logged for possible action by the
network operator."  I am not sure what is meant by preceding the first.

Nits/editorial comments:

1.	The following note appears in section 10.1, 10.2 and 10.3. "Note
that the same values for the Inter-RA Export Upward sub-TLV and the Inter-RA
Export Downward Sub-TLV MUST be used when they appear in the Link TLV, Node
Attribute TLV, and Router Address TLV." - why not have it in section 10
before section 10.1.
2.	I saw in appendix  B that one of the changes from RFC 5787 was to
clarify the terminology before defining extensions, I would have found it
easier to read if the ASON hierarchy and the relation to OSPF in section 2
were presented in figures. This was more an issue to me as a reader not
familiar with the terminology and I would like to think that the more
familiar reader will not have problem.

---

From: "Adrian Farrel" <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 14 Aug 2012 06:04:49 +0100

Thanks Roni,
Good catches.
Adrian
 
From: [email-masked] [mailto:[email-masked]] On Behalf Of Roni
Even
Sent: 13 August 2012 22:07
To: [email-masked]
Cc: [email-masked]; [email-masked]
Subject: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-ccamp-rfc5787bis-05
 
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART,
please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
 
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may
receive.

Major issues:
 
Minor issues:
In section 6.1 " If specified more than once, instances preceding the first will
be ignored and condition SHOULD be logged for possible action by the network
operator."  I am not sure what is meant by preceding the first.

Nits/editorial comments:
 
1.	The following note appears in section 10.1, 10.2 and 10.3. "Note that
the same values for the Inter-RA Export Upward sub-TLV and the Inter-RA Export
Downward Sub-TLV MUST be used when they appear in the Link TLV, Node Attribute
TLV, and Router Address TLV." - why not have it in section 10 before section
10.1.
2.	I saw in appendix  B that one of the changes from RFC 5787 was to
clarify the terminology before defining extensions, I would have found it easier
to read if the ASON hierarchy and the relation to OSPF in section 2 were
presented in figures. This was more an issue to me as a reader not familiar with
the terminology and I would like to think that the more familiar reader will not
have problem.