Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART IETF Last Call review for draft-ietf-stox-7248bis-12

From: Ralph Droms <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 21 Oct 2016 16:52:06 -0400

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for draft-ietf-stox-7248bis-12. The
General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being
processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments
just like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at 

<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. 

Document: draft-ietf-stox-7248bis-12
Reviewer: Ralph Droms
Review Date: 2016-10-21
IETF LC End Date:  2016-10-06
IESG Telechat date: 2016-11-03

Summary: Ready for publication as a Proposed Standard

I apologize for the late submission of this review.

I am not well-versed in either SIP or XMPP, so I could only give the
technical content of the document a cursory review.  I found no
issues to report in that review.

I'll make two small editorial suggestions:

1) There are possibly anachronistic references to "this series" of
documents.  The members of that "series" will be less obvious with the
publication of rfc7248bis.  It would likely be helpful to list the
members of the document series explicitly.

2) It might be useful to add a short section on the history of the
document, to give readers of this document an understanding of the
motivation for the publication of 7248bis.

- Ralph Droms

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From: Peter Saint-Andre - Filament <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2016 20:12:16 -0600

Hi Ralph, thanks for the review. Comments inline.

> members of the document series explicitly.

Good point, will fix before publication.

> motivation for the publication of 7248bis.

That oversight was noted by another reviewer, so the relevant section 
was added in version -13 (you might have reviewed -12):

https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-stox-7248bis-13#appendix-A

Thanks!

Peter