Subject: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-rtgwg-lne-model-05

From: Russ Housley <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 20 Jan 2018 15:36:38 -0800

Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review result: Not Ready

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Document: draft-ietf-rtgwg-lne-model-05
Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review Date: 2018-01-20
IETF LC End Date: 2018-01-31
IESG Telechat date: 2018-02-08

Summary: Not Ready

Major Concerns:

Section 4 listed three data nodes that are sensitive or vulnerable:
   -  /logical-network-elements/logical-network-element
   -  /logical-network-elements/logical-network-element/managed
   -  /if:interfaces/if:interface/bind-lne-name

All three of them deserve a bit more discussion, although the middle
one is covered in much more detail than the other two.  If a bad actor
gets "unauthorized access" is there something more specific about each
of these that can be said?  The characterization of "network
malfunctions, delivery of packets to inappropriate destinations, and
other problems" seems very broad.  Consequences that are specific to
these data nodes would be more helpful to the reader.

Minor Concerns:

Section 1.1: Please update the first paragraph to reference RFC 8174
in addition to RFC 2119, as follows: 

   The key words "MUST", "MUST NOT", "REQUIRED", "SHALL", "SHALL NOT",
   "SHOULD", "SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED", "NOT RECOMMENDED", "MAY", and
   "OPTIONAL" in this document are to be interpreted as described in BCP
   14 [RFC2119] [RFC8174] when, and only when, they appear in all
   capitals, as shown here.

Nits:

Abstract: YANG appears in the title and the introduction.  So, I was a
bit surprised that YANG did not appear anywhere in the Abstract.

This document seems to refer to itself as "RFC XXXX" and "RFC TBD".
Please pick one and use it throughout the document.