Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-clue-protocol-17.txt

From: Francis Dupont <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2018 10:59:27 +0200

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

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Document: draft-ietf-clue-protocol-17.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20181017
IETF LC End Date: 20181017
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments: 
 I have a problem with the CLUE abbrev itself (which BTW is not in the
RFC Editor abbrev list
https://www.rfc-editor.org/materials/abbrev.expansion.txt):
in theory the abbrev should be introduced at its first use in the Abstract
and in the body (so 1 introduction) but this seems to be overkilling
and not really solving the issue so I have a better proposal: ask
the RFC Editor if it is not possible to add the CLUE abbrev in the
list as a well known one.

 - Abstract page 1: you use SCTP over DTLS so a transport over another
 transport. At the first view it looks strange but in fact it should be
 the simplest solution to add security to SCTP so I have no concern about
 this.

 - 4 page 5 twice: version numbers are qualified as "single digit" which
 does not match the syntax 5 figure 1 page 8 nor examples: please remove
 these.

 - 5 page 8: the version number syntax. BTW it allows a minor version
 to begin by a 0 followed by other digits which perhaps is not what
 you want.

 - 5 page 8: same comment about examples: a priori 1.01 is legal and
  it is not clear if it is the same than 1.1 ?

 - 5 page 8 (before the previous one): procotol -> protocol

 - 5.1 page 11: IMHO in "<supportedVersion> is provided ..."
  it shoild be <supportedVersions>.

 - 5.4 page 13: I noted you use the UK spelling for the type name
 (Acknowledgement vs. Acknowledgment).

 - 5.7 page 17 figure 9 and 12.4.2 page 65:
 Please remove the final dot in " Low-level request error."

 - 11 page 60: defence -> defense (UK vs US English)

 - 12.4.1 page 64: estabilsh -> establish

 - 12.4.2 page 65: Conficting -> Conflicting
 
Regards

[email-masked]