Subject: [hrpc] I-D Action: draft-irtf-hrpc-association-04.txt

From: [email-masked]
Date: Sun, 08 Mar 2020 18:13:47 -0700

A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts directories.
This draft is a work item of the Human Rights Protocol Considerations RG of the IRTF.

        Title           : Freedom of Association on the Internet
        Authors         : Niels ten Oever
                          Gisela Perez de Acha
                          Stéphane Couture
                          Joseph Lorenzo Hall
	Filename        : draft-irtf-hrpc-association-04.txt
	Pages           : 25
	Date            : 2020-03-08

Abstract:
   This document discuss the relationships between the Internet
   architecture and the ability of people to exercise their right to
   freedom of assembly and association online.  The Internet
   increasingly mediates our lives, our relationships and our ability to
   exercise our human rights.  As a forum, it provides a global public
   space despite being built on predominantly private infrastructure.
   Since Internet protocols play a central role in the management,
   development and use of the Internet, the relation between protocols
   and the aforementioned rights should be analyzed and any adverse
   impacts should be mitigated.

The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-irtf-hrpc-association/

There are also htmlized versions available at:
https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-irtf-hrpc-association-04
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-irtf-hrpc-association-04

A diff from the previous version is available at:
https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-irtf-hrpc-association-04

Please note that it may take a couple of minutes from the time of submission
until the htmlized version and diff are available at tools.ietf.org.

Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:
ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/

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From: Stéphane Couture <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 2020 21:29:18 -0400

Hi all,

Just a quick notice. I quickly re-submitted a new revision of the draft,
because it was expired and the deadline for draft submission is tomorrow.
This one is only with minor revisions though. I'll try to come up with more
before IETF.

Best,

Stéphane Couture

Le dim. 8 mars 2020 à 21:13, <[email-masked]> a écrit :

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From: Corinne Cath <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 10 Mar 2020 17:55:40 +0300

Hi Stéphane et al,

Great work! I did a review of the document, some thoughts below:

   - I would rewrite the introduction, instead of starting with hard to
   parse (even for fellow academics) high-level academic concepts (like
   socio-technical ordering and epistemic community). Why not start with a
   couple of examples of concrete technology discussions in the IETF and then
   draw the connection to freedom of assembly? The ongoing discussion about
   DNS encryption (both the pros in terms of privacy and cons in terms of
   consolidation) being one example.

   - Same for the methodology - maybe it is necessary to say a couple of
   words about how process tracing works? In my own PhD thesis, I try to
   always draw parallels between my methods and methods used in the IETF to
   highlight both similarities and differences. For instance, could you draw a
   parallel between process tracing and Internet measurement? That way the
   text will speak more to its intended audience in the IETF/IRTF.

   - The use of the word "significant" in the methodology reads a bit
   confusing, as it implies a quant approach while you used a mostly qual
   approach.

   - This needs a citation: "Freedom of association and assembly refers
   both to the individual right to join or leave a group and to the collective
   right of a group to engage in a collective group and to organize itself.

The draft makes for a good read but I wonder what you want people to gain
from it because I think for this to be more actionable to IETF engineers it
would make more sense to draw further connections to ongoing conversations.

Hope this is helpful!

Kind regards,

-- 
Corinne Cath - Speth
Ph.D. Candidate, Oxford Internet Institute & Alan Turing Institute

Web: www.oii.ox.ac.uk/people/corinne-cath
Email: [email-masked] & [email-masked]
Twitter: @C_CS

-- 
Corinne Cath - Speth
Ph.D. Candidate, Oxford Internet Institute & Alan Turing Institute

Web: www.oii.ox.ac.uk/people/corinne-cath
Email: [email-masked] & [email-masked]
Twitter: @C_CS

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From: Stéphane Couture <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 10 Mar 2020 11:03:44 -0400

Hi Corinne,

Thanks for this. As I mentioned, I barely made changes to it so far,
and most of it was the previous version made by Niels and Gisela, but I am
glad you find it great.

I'll come back to this later,

Stéphane