Subject: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-i2nsf-capability-data-model-25: (with COMMENT)

From: Lars Eggert via Datatracker <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 03 Feb 2022 03:01:22 -0800

Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-i2nsf-capability-data-model-25: No Objection

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COMMENT:
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DOWNREF [RFC8329] from this Proposed Standard to Informational RFC8329.

Thanks to Dan Romascanu for their General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review
(https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/RZKBK7ht9PrmIMC5VpMwaLohkc4).

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

Document still refers to the "Simplified BSD License", which was corrected in
the TLP on September 21, 2021. It should instead refer to the "Revised BSD
License".

"Table of Contents", paragraph 2, nit:
>  Registration for the Capabilities of a HTTP and HTTPS Flood Mitigator . . .
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour". (Also elsewhere.)

Section 1. , paragraph 2, nit:
> tomers. Multiple NSFs can be combined together to provide security services
>                              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"combined together" is redundant. Use "combined".

Section 3.1. , paragraph 3, nit:
> , respectively. These facilitate multi-vendor interoperability. * Automation:
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled as one.

Section 3.1. , paragraph 10, nit:
> r values in order to determine whether or not the set of actions in that (im
>                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you
mean "regardless of whether".

Section 3.1. , paragraph 22, nit:
> firewall R2: During 7am-8pm, run anti-virus There is no conflict between the
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled as one. (Also elsewhere.)

Section 6. , paragraph 156, nit:
> er-id or user-name. The users can collected into a user-group and identified
>                                   ^^^^^^^^^
The modal verb "can" requires the verb's base form.

Section 6. , paragraph 169, nit:
> f the capabilities may entail privacy sensitive information as explicitly out
>                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen. (Also elsewhere.)

Document references draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-monitoring-data-model-12, but -14 is
the latest available revision.

Document references draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-facing-interface-dm-16, but -20 is the
latest available revision.

Document references draft-ietf-i2nsf-registration-interface-dm-13, but -14 is
the latest available revision.

---

From: "Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong" <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2022 01:46:11 +0900

Hi Lars,
Here is the revised draft reflecting your comments:
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-capability-data-model-26

I attach the revision letter to explain how the revision
is done by Patrick and me for your comments.

[Review by Lars Eggert and Response by Authors] starts from page 40 in the
revision letter.

Thanks for your valuable comments and help.

Best Regards,
Paul

On Thu, Feb 3, 2022 at 8:01 PM Lars Eggert via Datatracker <[email-masked]>
wrote:

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