Subject: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-decade-survey-04

From: <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 19 Jul 2011 00:11:54 -0400

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
 http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

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Document: draft-ietf-decade-survey-04
Reviewer: Kathleen Moriarty
Review Date: July 18, 2011
IETF LC End Date: July 20, 2011
IESG Telechat date: (if known)

Summary: The document is well written and is ready with the nits listed below.

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:
Introduction, consider changing from:
"High-capacity and low-cost in-network storage devices introduces
   substantial opportunities."
To: "High-capacity and low-cost in-network storage devices introduce
   substantial opportunities."

Section 2.2 paragraph 3, consider changing the dash in the last sentence to a comma.
From: "In particular, the use of audio and
   video streaming formats has become common for delivery of rich
   information to the public - both residential and business."
To: "In particular, the use of audio and
   video streaming formats has become common for delivery of rich
   information to the public, both residential and business."

Section 2.2: define CDN in the sentence before it is defined where it is first used in paragraph 4:
From: "In these edge technologies,
   CDN is a representative technique.  Content Delivery Networks (CDN)
   are based on a large-scale distributed network of servers located
   closer to the edges of the Internet for efficient delivery of digital
   content including various forms of multimedia content."
To: "In these edge technologies,
   Content Delivery Networks (CDN) is a representative technique.  CDNs
   are based on a large-scale distributed network of servers located
   closer to the edges of the Internet for efficient delivery of digital
   content including various forms of multimedia content."

Section 4.2, last paragraph considering changing
From: "Cached content is encrypted, and clients can only decrypt the data
   using keys derived from metadata returned by the content server."
To: "Cached content is encrypted such that only clients can decrypt the data
   using keys derived from metadata returned by the content server."

Section 4.3.7: Consider removing the first comma as it is not needed since only two ideas are connected (not a list).
From: "A query including a location-independent content ID is sent to the
   network, and routed to a Cache-and-forward router, which handles
   retrieval of the data and forwarding to the end host."
To: "A query including a location-independent content ID is sent to the
   network and routed to a Cache-and-forward router, which handles
   retrieval of the data and forwarding to the end host."

Section 4.4: CDN is already defined in the document, at this point you can use either the full description or acronym, but do not need to redefine it.
"A Content Delivery Network (CDN) provides services that improve
   network performance by maximizing bandwidth, improving accessibility
   and maintaining correctness through content replication."

Section 4.4.5: Recommend just using one transition at the start of the sentence.
From: "Also as mentioned previously, clients typically cannot write to the
   CDN."
To: "As mentioned previously, clients typically cannot write to the
   CDN."

Section 4.4.7: Add an 's' on last word of sentence:
From: "Clients can locate CDN nodes through DNS or other redirection
   mechanism."
To: "Clients can locate CDN nodes through DNS or other redirection
   mechanisms."

Section 4.10: Consider removing comma (unnecessary):
From: "P2P caches operate similarly to web caches, in that they temporarily
   store frequently-requested content."
To: "P2P caches operate similarly to web caches in that they temporarily
   store frequently-requested content."

Section 4.11.2.6: It is unnecessary to redefine "Deep Packet Inspection (DPI)" as it is defined in an earlier section.