Subject: Feedback on ipr-template-05

From: Pekka Savola <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 19 Jul 2003 10:38:02 +0300 (EEST)

substantial
-----------

   This document is an IETF Patent Disclosure and Licensing Declaration
   Template and is submitted to inform the IETF of a) patent information
   regarding the IETF document or contribution listed in Section IV, and
   b) a Patent Holder's intention with respect to the licensing of its
   necessary patent claims upon approval by the IESG for publication as
   an RFC of the relevant IETF specification.

==> "intention" is too mild a word.  How about "commitment" ? (RFC2026 
says "written assurance")

==> the point also holds for section "Licensing Declaration".

==> note that "Patent Holder" is not applicable with patent applications (a
wording change needed).  Also later in the document; maybe it would be
easier to use some other term or define the meaning of Patent Holder to
include Potential Patent Holders :-/

                                                 No actual license is
   implied by submission of this template.

==> this seems like a completely bogus sentence.

   IV. IETF Document or Working Group Contribution to Which Patent
   Disclosure Relates

==> remove the word "Working Group" or reword.  
Contributions do not require being made to a working group.

   The "Other Designations" field in Section IV may be used to identify
   an IETF working group contribution (oral or written) other than an
   Internet-Draft or RFC to which a disclosure is related.

==> same goes here.

editorial
---------

   This document is an Internet-Draft and is in full conformance with
   all provisions of Section 10 of RFC2026 [i].  

==> no numbered (even roman numbered :-) refs in the boilerplate

Abstract 
    
   This document describes a template for IETF patent disclosures and
   licensing declarations. The optional use of this template is meant to
   simplify the process of such disclosures and licensing declarations
   and to assist disclosers in providing the necessary information to
   meet the obligations documented in RFC XXXX [ii].

==> the same goes for the abstract.

   how to submit a patent disclosure or licensing declaration, please
   see http://www.ietf.org/ipr-instructions.

==> note, doesn't exist yet, but probably will at some point.

References

==> split the references (or rename to normative refs)

==> also add the generic Intellectual Property Rights section at the end..

-- 
Pekka Savola                 "You each name yourselves king, yet the
Netcore Oy                    kingdom bleeds."
Systems. Networks. Security. -- George R.R. Martin: A Clash of Kings

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---

From: Brian E Carpenter <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 22 Jul 2003 09:07:05 +0200

Pekka,

> substantial

Nevertheless, if you want people to use the template, I think it
has to be "intention".

...
> ==> this seems like a completely bogus sentence.

It may be strictly redundant, but it clarifies that facts for a
potentially confused reader.

   Brian

---

From: "todd glassey" <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 22 Jul 2003 07:25:41 -0700

Brian - all - I want to also add a comment that by formalizing the IP
standings and release process, has clearly also added another step in any IP
patenting process, and that is to thoroughly search the IETF archives for
any Note Well, or other commentary regarding any ideas or processes that
could constitute Prior Art.

Because of this emerging need to be able to search the IETF's data-store for
IP issues, it would also probably help to be able to file a "Notice of IP
Concern" to the IETF as well. This would be an individual making a
declaration that they had concerns regarding the IP's being worked on for X,
Y, and Z reasons.

I suggest that a template might also be valuable for that as well.

Todd Glassey