Subject: Re: [Isms] Fw: I-D Action:draft-presuhn-isms-radius-vacm-alt-01.txt

From: Juergen Schoenwaelder <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 4 Jul 2010 12:30:22 +0200

On Sat, Jun 26, 2010 at 09:54:02AM +0200, Randy Presuhn wrote:
 
> I've updated the individual i-d exploring how we might resolve David
> Harrington's WG last call comments on the RADIUS/VACM i-d.

I have reviewed draft-presuhn-isms-radius-vacm-alt-01.txt and I think
it is technically in a good shape. I have a number of editorial
comments as detailed below.

As co-chair, I like to ask Randy to submit another revision as
draft-ietf-isms-radius-vacm-07.txt. Once in place, I will do a final
quick check to confirm the changes that have been made.

Here are my comments. The last one is a suggestion to rename MIB
objects which requires some editorial effort to ensure internal
consistency of the document - the others are rather simple editorial
fixes I think.

a) s/specifies an way/specifies a way/

b) I suggest to spell out the acronyms VACM and AAA in the
   introduction so that the main body of the document does not depend
   on the abstract (where these terms are spelled out)

c) s/such as [RFC5592]/such as the Secure Shell Transport Model [RFC5592]/

d) s/of of/of/

e) p10: s/Extended-View-based/AAA Enabled View-based/

f) s/VacmSecurityToGroupTable/vacmSecurityToGroupTable/

   (occurs multiple times)

g) s/vacmSecurityToGroup table/vacmSecurityToGroupTable/

   (occurs multiple times)

h) I am wondering whether we should change the naming scheme. Extended
   VACM is perhaps to too wide name and we do not follow the VACM MIB
   prefixing scheme. Here is what I have in mind:

   OLD:				NEW:

   SNMP-EXT-VACM-MIB		SNMP-VACM-AAA-MIB
   snmpExtVacmMIB		snmpVacmAaaMIB
   extVacmMIBObjects		vacmAaaMIBObjects
   extVacmMIBConformance	vacmAAAMIBConformance
   extVacmSecurityToGroupTable	vacmAaaSecurityToGroupTable
   extVacmSecurityToGroupEntry	vacmAaaSecurityToGroupEntry
   ExtVacmSecurityToGroupEntry	VacmAaaSecurityToGroupEntry
   extVacmSecurityModel		vacmAaaSecurityModel
   extVacmSecurityName		vacmAaaSecurityName
   extVacmTransportModel	vacmAaaTransportModel
   extVacmTransportSessionID	vacmAaaTransportSessionID
   extVacmGroupName		vacmAaaGroupName
   extVacmMIBCompliances	vacmAaaMIBCompliances
   extVacmMIBGroups		vacmAaaMIBGroups
   extVacmMIBBasicCompliance	vacmAaaMIBBasicCompliance
   extVacmGroup			vacmAaaGroup

   This proposed change requires some editorial effort but does
   technically not change anything except that we are dealing more
   carefully with the descriptor namespace.

/js

-- 
Juergen Schoenwaelder           Jacobs University Bremen gGmbH
Phone: +49 421 200 3587         Campus Ring 1, 28759 Bremen, Germany
Fax:   +49 421 200 3103         <http://www.jacobs-university.de/>

---

From: "Randy Presuhn" <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 5 Jul 2010 10:37:41 -0700

Hi -

> From: "Juergen Schoenwaelder" <[email-masked]>
> To: "Randy Presuhn" <[email-masked]>
> Cc: <[email-masked]>
> Sent: Sunday, July 04, 2010 3:30 AM
> Subject: Re: [Isms] Fw: I-D Action:draft-presuhn-isms-radius-vacm-alt-01.txt
...
> a) s/specifies an way/specifies a way/

fixed.

>    on the abstract (where these terms are spelled out)

done

> c) s/such as [RFC5592]/such as the Secure Shell Transport Model [RFC5592]/

done

> d) s/of of/of/

fixed

> e) p10: s/Extended-View-based/AAA Enabled View-based/

done

> f) s/VacmSecurityToGroupTable/vacmSecurityToGroupTable/

fixed

> g) s/vacmSecurityToGroup table/vacmSecurityToGroupTable/

fixed

>    carefully with the descriptor namespace.

Done.

I've posted an updated version as draft-presuhn-isms-radius-vacm-alt-02.txt

Randy

---

From: "Randy Presuhn" <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 5 Jul 2010 11:02:13 -0700

Hi -

> quick check to confirm the changes that have been made.

I've updated the individual i-d.  A bunch of holiday guests just arrived,
so I won't be able to update the WG i-d until later today.

Randy