Subject: [Lsr] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-lsr-isis-srv6-extensions-14: (with COMMENT)

From: Lars Eggert via Datatracker <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 10 May 2021 03:47:57 -0700

Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-lsr-isis-srv6-extensions-14: No Objection

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COMMENT:
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All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools, so there will likely be some false positives. There is no need
to let me know what you did with these suggestions.

"Abstract", paragraph 2, nit:
-    The Segment Routing (SR) allows for a flexible definition of end-to-
-   ----
+    Segment Routing (SR) allows for a flexible definition of end-to-

"Abstract", paragraph 3, nit:
-    This documents updates RFC 7370 by modifying an existing registry.
-                 -
+    This document updates RFC 7370 by modifying an existing registry.

Section 4.1, paragraph 3, nit:
>  SRH Max Segments Left Type: 41 If no value is advertised the supported va
>                                 ^^
"If" at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a
comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete
and should be joined with the following sentence.

Section 4.4, paragraph 2, nit:
>  when performing decapsulation. These includes, but not limited to, End.DX6,
>                                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The verb 'includes' is singular. Did you mean: "This includes" or "These
include"?

Section 6, paragraph 11, nit:
>  of the embedded "X-bit" in any advertisement of the same prefix in TLVs 236
>                                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for", not "of". Did you mean
"advertisement for"?

Section 7.1, paragraph 16, nit:
> T be ignored if the Loc-Size is outside of this range. Locator: 1-16 octe
>                                 ^^^^^^^^^^
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".

Section 7.2, paragraph 2, nit:
> ogether with parent TLVs in which they area advertised are specified in Secti
>                                   ^^^^^^^^^^^^
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an
adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.

Section 8.1, paragraph 19, nit:
> e required in order to advertise all of the SRv6 SIDs associated with that n
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^
Consider using "all the".

Section 8.2, paragraph 2, nit:
>  SID is associated. Given that a large number of neighbors may exist on a giv
>                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"

Section 8.2, paragraph 2, nit:
> bors may exist on a given LAN a large number of SRv6 LAN END.X SID sub- TLVs
>                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"

Section 8.2, paragraph 2, nit:
> e required in order to advertise all of the SRv6 SIDs associated with that n
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Consider using "all the".

Section 9, paragraph 16, nit:
> SID Structure Sub- Sub-TLV MUST be lower or equal to 128 bits. If the sum of
>                                    ^^^^^
Did you mean "less than"?

Section 9, paragraph 17, nit:
> ure of the SID associated with it. It's usage is outside of the scope of this
>                                    ^^^^
Did you mean "Its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'It's' (short for 'it is')?

Section 9, paragraph 17, nit:
> associated with it. It's usage is outside of the scope of this document. 10.
>                                   ^^^^^^^^^^
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".

Section 11.1, paragraph 1, nit:
> t makes the following registrations in the the IS-IS TLV Codepoints registry.
>                                        ^^^^^^^
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.

Section 11.8, paragraph 2, nit:
> ts in the Flags field of the ISIS SRv6 SRv6 Locator TLV specified in this doc
>                                   ^^^^^^^^^
Possible typo: you repeated a word

Section 12, paragraph 3, nit:
> hat document apply too. The advertisement of an incorrect MSD value may have
>                             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for", not "of". Did you mean
"advertisement for"?

Document references draft-ietf-6man-spring-srv6-oam-08, but
draft-ietf-6man-spring-srv6-oam-10 is the latest available revision.

Document references draft-ietf-lsr-flex-algo-13, but
draft-ietf-lsr-flex-algo-15 is the latest available revision.