Subject: [nfsv4] draft-ietf-nfsv4-versioning-04, Section 4

From: Mike Kupfer <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 15 Jul 2016 14:44:49 -0700

As I continue the dribbling out of feedback...

- Section 4.1.1 ("XDR Extension in General") refers to "operation
  codes"; I think it would be better to speak in terms of "procedures"
  here.  The distinction is even more important in Section 4.1.2 (first
  bullet in that section) and Section 4.1.3 (list of prohibited
  changes).

- Section 4.2, first bullet, "RPC XDR decode error.  reports": change
  the period to a comma.

- page 14:

  * The protocol element is not known in the current variant of minor
    version.

  Change "of minor" to "of the minor".

- page 14, 2nd-to-last paragraph, "protocol elements, will": omit
  comma.

- page 14, last paragraph: maybe add a cross-reference to Section 6.6.

- Section 4.4: "version" is used in several places where "variant"
  would be more precise

- Section 4.4, first paragraph, "client and server versions have XDR
  definitions": change "have" to "may have"

- Section 4.4.1, first paragraph, "use of XDR extension paradigm":
  change "of XDR" to "of the XDR"

- Section 4.4.1, first bullet, "base variant of particular minor
  version": change "of particular" to "of a particular"

- Page 16, "For many minor versions, all existing protocol elements,
  are": delete the comma after "elements".

- Page 16, second-to-last bullet in Section 4.4.1 ("If the responder
  is aware of..."): end with a period (make a complete sentence).

- Section 4.4.2: this section is worded in terms of the client
  determining what features the server supports.  Please add a
  cross-reference to Section 7.3.2, since that section discusses
  callback extensions.

regards,
mike

---

From: David Noveck <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2016 09:32:18 -0400

Thanks for these.  There will be a -05 some time after
IETF96 that includes changes to address these and your previous
comments.

> bullet in that section) and Section 4.1.3 (list of prohibited

Good point.  Will fix.

> - Section 4.2, first bullet, "RPC XDR decode error.  reports": change

Will fix.

>  Change "of minor" to "of the minor".

Will fix.

> - page 14, 2nd-to-last paragraph, "protocol elements, will": omit

Ok.

> - page 14, last paragraph: maybe add a cross-reference to Section 6.6.

Good idea.

> - Section 4.4: "version" is used in several places where "variant"

Could you point to the specific places?.

>  definitions": change "have" to "may have"

"may have" seems to weak.  The situation is that either the two versions
are
identical, one is a valid extension of the other, or thety are each valid
extensions of
a third version.  I'll try to fix thisin -05.

>   change "of XDR" to "of the XDR"

Will fix.

>   version": change "of particular" to "of a particular"

Will fix.

Will fix.

>   is aware of..."): end with a period (make a complete sentence).

Will fix.

>   cross-reference to Section 7.3.2, since that section discusses

Will do that.  There may be other changes necessary to fully
address callback extensions.

On Fri, Jul 15, 2016 at 5:44 PM, Mike Kupfer <[email-masked]> wrote:

> _______________________________________________
> nfsv4 mailing list
> [email-masked]
> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/nfsv4
>

---

From: David Noveck <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2016 11:37:19 -0400

Good point.  Will fix.

Will fix.

Will fix.

Ok.

Good idea.

>  definitions": change "have" to "may have"

"may have" seems too weak.  The situation is that either the two versions
are
identical, one is a valid extension of the other, or they are each valid
extensions of
a third version.  I'll try to fix this in -05.

Will fix.

Will fix.

Will fix.

Will fix.

---

From: Mike Kupfer <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2016 15:35:19 -0700

> Could you point to the specific places?.

Actually, I retract that comment.  I'd forgotten about this text in
Section 2:

   In this document, the term "version" is not limited to minor
   versions.  When minor versions are meant, the term "minor version" is
   used explicitly.  For more discussion of this and related terms, see
   Section 2.3
	 
Whoops, just noticed that that sentence needs a final period.

By the way, it is doubtful that I will be participating in the Berlin
meeting. :-(  I came down with a cold over the weekend, and getting up
in the middle of the night seems like a bad idea.

mike