Subject: [Sidrops] Important: Concerns...

From: Warren Kumari <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 22 Mar 2022 08:46:36 -0700

Hi there all,

I must admit that I haven't been following the SIDROPS list nearly as
closely as I used to, or should be.
I had I horrible suspicion that I need to change this, and be should be
paying  more attention to the tone of discussions... but I'd been putting
it off and hoping that magically everything would resolve itself.

In Vienna I've been bumping into people, and have heard a number of
comments which have been concerning, including a conversation with the
Ombudsteam.

I hadn't realized quite how bad the tone and culture had become, and I
apologize to the WG for this — it's easy, especially when we are not
meeting in person, to forget that:
1: we are all here trying to make things better

2: it's easy for the tone to get lost in email. I know I often have a
joking / slightly snarky tone in my head, but when it gets written down
it's easy for the smiling / joking part of the tone to get lost and it's
easy for just the snark to remain.

3: the latency in email (and the fact that things are written down and
public) can make what was meant to just be a vague, in passing comment,
into a much larger and hurtful message.

4:  we sometimes forget that [email-masked] is actually a *person*,
who has their own stuff going on, and not just a email address.

5: many of us, who've been working in the IETF / SIDROPS for a long time
have the opposite problem - we know *exactly* who [email-masked] is,
and know that calling his/her momma fat isn't going to bother them *at all*
— but what we may forget is that anyone who doesn't know this / doesn't
have the history here will view this as aggressive, objectionable and just
mean.

So, I'm going to be trying much harder to keep up with the mail on SIDROPS,
and also ask everyone to please please take a minute or two before hitting
send on mails (or speaking in meetings!) to consider if what they are about
to say is actually helpful and if communicating it differently might be
more better.

We have a CoC for a reason, let's follow it,
W