Subject: [SIP] New ID: draft-pis-00.txt April 1, 2001 contd

From: [email-masked]
Date: Sun, 1 Apr 2001 15:53:46 EDT

continued...noticed truncation...

5 Local Implementation/National Protocol Variants 

By no means is PIS a complete protocol.  The use of local signaling 
variants may be required depending on the location of the proxy and 
the user agent when roaming may or may not be capable of 
understanding the proper local protocols or methods.  For example, 
the Paper value might be well served in some locales by Leaves, 
Lira, $1-USD, or Low-Denomination-Paper-Currency, [although this use
 of Paper is not part of PIS but may occur in conjunction with a PIS
session].  Certain user agents may not understand the significance 
of the Bidet or Pizwah type.  Local names for proxies, such as 
commodes, stalls, toilets, crappers, urinals, potties/poddy, loos, 
wc's (waterclosets), pizwahs, ditches, holes, lavatories, latrines,
heads, outhouses, buckets, etc. and the appropriate user agent 
methods for accessing such need further investigation and definition 
(and could keep folks in committee meetings for years on the take and 
in conference, industry fora, venture capital, media blitzes, and 
for-profit-conferences, such as the new conference formed to address 
PIS in the network, called Voiding in the Net.)  Such protocol 
transport and translation issues are part of PIS-T and other 
protocols, and of interest by ETSI and the ITU.  Roaming issues, such 
as a user in a F-CSCF (foreign CSCF, a proxy not of home type), 
should be addressed by 33GBPP (33rd Generation Bathroom Protocols 
Project) as part of Release 55, scheduled for completion in 2055.  
The 33GBPP's goal is to ensure complete standardization and PIS 
availability to all user agents, whether roaming, or at home, and that 
user agents get the same services when roaming as when at home (as 
well as being captive in a walled stall so the user agents have the 
comfort and feel of the same crap(per) when roaming.)

Appendix 1:  Presence-Enabled and Location-Enabled PIS

Of particular interest to user agents of PIS is need to locate an 
appropriate proxy when the user agent is away from home or 
well-known proxies, such as roaming in a foreign or non-home city,
traveling via car, or simply in a new area.  The user MAY have 
special criteria, like clean, no-graffiti, not-occupied, 
in-resturant, etc. as well as MAY indicate urgency where proximity 
and availability are most important.  It is also important that user 
agents progressing to a particular proxy or proxy cluster be aware 
of any status changes, congestion, or other problems which MAY 
prevent a successful session.

The SEEK method is enhanced to include the following parameters:

Planet(oid): Earth, Moon, Mars, ...(the protocol should be extensible 
for interplanetary systems. Absolute spatial positioning is FFS but 
should nonetheless be considered in implementation)
Geo-spatial-position:  Latitude, Longitude, and Elevation
or
Implementation-Specific-Position:  Building-Name, Floor, 
Column-Number, Office-Number
And/or the following parameters:
Currently-Near-to: Unique-specific-location 
Velocity: Vector
Preferences: Public-type, private-type, clean
Requires:  Male, Female, Bano-Familiar + Handicapable

Input is sought regarding general and implementation-specific 
positional description.  In some cases, the user agent may not 
have geo-spatial information, and a more classical or 
human-oriented search is in order and the user agent may not have 
precise information and fuzzy or approximate searches may be 
appropriate.

The SEEK method will return a list of proxy-cluster controllers 
for which the user agent should then join as an ad-hoc member of a 
presence group, as well as information about the overall facilities 
and any error conditions present in the cluster.  State changes in 
each of the proxy-clusters represent group state changes and are 
propagated to the user agent.  The proxy-cluster controller MAY have 
the capacity to determine loading and typical servicing times.

Acknowledgements

The author wishes to recognize the following.

The Blue Man Group for the idea of proxies as being 'input' only terminals.  
"'There is a network that connects all humanity that things only flow intothe 
plumbing network.  Bad things happen on BACKUPS.'"  Chicago, 1997.

ANSI-USTD 3466-T.  Specification for toilets, commodes, and other facilities.

Author's note:  I'd love to publish this under my real name and from 
a legit email account where I work, but that would be an 
inappropriate use of company's resources.  I certify that this is a result 
of the 'expertise' I have amassed 
in industry and as of publicly, biologically, and/or readily known 
information and expresses a personal opinion, is a work of literary 
fiction, and is not to be taken seriously.  No similarity to persons, 
protocols, standards, drafts, working papers, industry forums, conferences, 
legal entities, corporations, and so forth living, dead, 
reincarnated, in-use, obsoleted, Bis-ed, version 2ed, and so on 
should be inferred by this work, and the respective copyrights, 
trademarks and IPRs (if any mentioned are the property of their 
respective companies).  

SIP is out of control and we're headed for the same disaster as a 
much maligned SG16-ITU protocol that starts with H.32.  Yes, I'm 
squarely a big supporter of SIP and have been active in industry 
for quite some time in H.323, Gatekeepers, SIP, SIP-T, UMTS, 
Softswitches, H.248/xGCP/IPDC, and other areas, 
but I'm more than disturbed by what's going on, especially in that 
abomination proposed by certain UMTS flora and fauna we all know too 
well.  Anyhow, April Fools!

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