Subject: [Teas] comments on draft-ietf-teas-native-ip-scenarios-04

From: Lou Berger <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 11 Jun 2019 19:47:29 -0400

Hi,
	As part of preparing for LC, I reviewed this document and have some 
comments that I think that should be addressed before the document is 
published.  I think the first item should be addressed before LC, the 
others can be addressed at your discretion.

Title, 3 other places:
   Scenario, Simulation and Suggestion of PCE in Native IP Network

Aren't the "suggestions" described in [I-D.ietf-teas-pce-native-ip] and 
not in this document?  Perhaps eliminating the 3 uses of "suggestions" 
in the document and calling it "Scenarios and Simulation Results of PCE 
in Native IP Network" would be more appropriate?

The reasons for the following don't really matter, so I suggest:
OLD
    controlled corporate network and are out of scope of this draft.  And
    as described in [I-D.ietf-detnet-dp-sol-ip], the solution for the
    DetNet use cases requires the update of the network data plane, which
    is not easy being deployed within the service provider network and is
    out of scope that described in [I-D.ietf-teas-pce-native-ip]
NEW
    controlled network and are out of scope of this draft.

Section 10 needs to be split into informative and normative subsections.

it would be good to review 
https://tools.ietf.org/idnits?url=https://tools.ietf.org/id/draft-ietf-teas-native-ip-scenarios-04.txt 
and see if you want to fix any of these.

That's it,
Lou

---

From: "Aijun Wang" <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2019 14:56:54 +0800

Hi, Lou:

I have updated the draft according to your suggestions, and also fixed the
nits in previous version.
Thanks for your review.

Best Regards.

Aijun Wang
Network R&D and Operation Support Department
China Telecom Corporation Limited Beijing Research Institute,Beijing, China.

-----邮件原件-----
发件人: Lou Berger [mailto:[email-masked]] 
发送时间: 2019年6月12日 7:47
收件人: [email-masked]
抄送: TEAS WG
主题: [Teas] comments on draft-ietf-teas-native-ip-scenarios-04

Hi,
	As part of preparing for LC, I reviewed this document and have some
comments that I think that should be addressed before the document is
published.  I think the first item should be addressed before LC, the others
can be addressed at your discretion.

Title, 3 other places:

Aren't the "suggestions" described in [I-D.ietf-teas-pce-native-ip] and not
in this document?  Perhaps eliminating the 3 uses of "suggestions" 
in the document and calling it "Scenarios and Simulation Results of PCE in
Native IP Network" would be more appropriate?

    out of scope that described in [I-D.ietf-teas-pce-native-ip] NEW

it would be good to review
https://tools.ietf.org/idnits?url=https://tools.ietf.org/id/draft-ietf-teas-
native-ip-scenarios-04.txt
and see if you want to fix any of these.

That's it,
Lou

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